POISON SCOOTER

We've Moved!

2007-03-20T17:49:00.000-07:00

Poison Scooter

click the above to be redirect to poisonscooter.com.

yeah!

Amy Winehouse

2007-03-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse looks like Sarah Silverman dipped in make up and covered in tats. Oddly enough, when she opens her mouth she sounds like Shirley Bassey. Hmmm? Amy's musical stylings are something to absorb; the vintage sound crossed with her modern day venacular. Tales of drink and bad girl behaviour, cleverly played just straight enough to make you take note of her vocal talent. Although you get only a small snip on her Myspace and ITunes, I can tell you that her breezy 10 track CD is worth the gamble.

People are falling in love with her, if 10 myspace pages cropping up since Saturday is any indication. And I've seen her mentioned in no less than 5 magazines this month. A star on the rise or a flash in the pan? I'll admit, I've fallen in love with this girl before. Nelly McKay ring a bell? The comparison isn't exactly fair, as they are worlds apart when it comes to their sound, but what I mean is that I was so into McKay and she never captured the hearts of the many like a thought.

Stand out tracks: Rehab and Back In Black

Dancing With The Stars!

2007-03-19T18:33:00.000-07:00

Ballroom Blitz is the opening number...oh my god, this is going to be sad. Cha-Cha-Cha.

Joey Fatone is a front runner? Not bad for the fat N'SYNC dude. Clyde Drexler looked like Sasquatch. Heather Mills looked creepier though dragging her fake leg around the floor. All in all, a hot mess.

And yet...I'll watch it.

Fun With IMDB

2007-03-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

April, Courtney and Monica are three beautiful, intelligent and tough college freshmen. They are finishing their first semester at Los Lomas Malas community college, the armpit of community college's. They must do well on finals to gain entrance to an Ivy League University, cheer at the big game and rescue their Sensei, who has been kidnapped by the mob, all by midnight so they can compete in the all-city strip off with the hopes of winning college money. All the while, dodging nosy cops, keeping their parents at bay, dealing with a perverted coach and smiling, talking or fighting their way through a slew of odd characters.

Okay, so this is the description of the soon to be released (straight to DVD I'm sure) film Ninja Cheerleaders. Now if the name alone doesn't grab you, let me throw this by you...

Sensei is played by Mr. Sulu, George Takei.

Oh wait, there's more. Trishelle Cannatella is one of the cheerleaders. Yep, that Trishelle. And yet there is still more...

Michael Paré. You know, from Streets of Fire.

And...Max Perlich as Jimmy the Snitch. Max is from Beautiful Girls. And the Luscious Jackson video for Naked Eye. A song that I heard just the other day on Sirius.

300

2007-03-19T05:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not a comic book guy nor am I a period piece guy, so approaching the 300 I was skeptical. Especially since all I heard about was that this was a film for guys, or rather guys who love video games (another thing I am not). The look of the film is interesting but starts to teeter toward odd about 30 minutes in, the washboard abs look airbrushed and it becomes very obvious that the film was shot entirely on green screen much like Frank Miller's other graphic novel adaptation Sin City. So what keeps you interested when the visuals start to wane?

My guess would be the story needs to hold up, but this is kind of like Persian/Spartan history for dummies and not exactly a sweeping, well crafted examination of the cultures of the people. You get the general idea of what is going on, Sparta sends 300 tough guys to hold off thousands of Perisan army (made up of hundreds of countries), but the story doesn't allow you to invest in the characters because it's all about the action.

Ah, the action. If there is any reason to see this film, without a doubt it is the visually stimulating action sequences. The backbone of the film is the gore and the incredible David vs. Goliath battles that take the foreground. If you don't get to bogged down on why the King of Sparta looks like Mel Gibson and talks like Sean Connery, you will most likely really enjoy the graphic violence and come out of the film saying it was pretty good.

Sometimes you need a popcorn movie in your life. One that doesn't require you to think, just observe, chuckle and be entertained. But Shakespeare this is not.

March Madness

2007-03-16T05:26:00.000-07:00

Ah, so you think I'm going to post on here about college basketball, do you? Hell no. Although I am in two bracket pools. What I'm referring to from this headline is the latest crop of reality television that is headed our way.

INFERNO 3 on MTV gives us what appears to be a more physically demanding challenge show bringing back the theme of good guys vs. bad guys. (April 10th) The currently running trailer on MTV shows a very heated exchange between Kenny the Jersey doofus and hothead CT who apparently gets banished from the show early this season. And old steady Tonya is back to rile up the ladies. I saw tears! And cheating! You go girl!

VH1 is giving us a new round of Celebrity Fit Club with Kimberly Locke and the intern kid on Leno. From what I hear, this season is men vs. women and all of the celebs are bulky but not obese making it actually competitive.

They are also bring back the "finest" ladies from two seasons of Flavor of Love for Charm School which drops on April 15th. Great, just what we need to distract us from the tax deadline, Buckwild wiggering out on some hoochies.

If depression is your thing, Intervention is back tonight on A&E with fresh episodes of druggies getting high and then clean. And right now, HBO is showing a 9 hour documentary called Addiction that is getting rave reviews from everyone who sees it. They are one hour installments, so check your listings or put the 4-disc series on your Netflix queue as the set comes out March 20th.

Dancing with the Stars is relaunching on Monday night, moving away from the time slot that goes up against American Idol. Steve from 90210 is my underdog pick this season, but you can't trust that one legged wonder Heather Mills. Look what she did to Paul! And this season's Jerry Spring is none other than Cliff Claven!

With The Office, 30 Rock, Heroes and Studio 60 on a break, a guy like me has to find something to watch.

Sundance Film Festival

2007-03-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Over the past two decades, a lot of quality films have come out of the snowy, Utah film festival that Robert Redford started. So keeping that in mind, Premiere magazine is touting a dozed films that we should all be hyped to see during the next year as they roll out to a theater near you in their latest issue. That got me thinking...what looks good to me?

Snow Angels from director David Gordon Green (George Washington, All the Real Girls) is an adaptation of the thrilling novel by Stewart O'Nan and stars Sam Rockwell and Kate Beckinsale, a couple of my favorites.

Gregg Araki has done some weird films like The Doom Generation, Totally Fucked Up and Nowhere, but this new one Smiley Face is apparently a stoner film starring the Scary Movie chick Anna Farris. Huh?

The Savages brings two of my very, very favorite actors together as siblings who are dealing with their asshole father's dying days and confronting their own miserable existences. Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman are worth the viewing no matter the material.

Grace is Gone will be one of those tearjerkers that will just destroy you. Mommy dies in Iraq and Daddy (John Cusack) wrangles with how to tell his two small children for ninety minutes. Yikes.

An American Crime is about child abuse, another downer subject, but Catherine Keener beating the crap out of the girl from Hard Cardy could be intense and very watchable.

The Ten, from the guys behind The State and Wet Hot American Summer, also sounds interesting and has a star studded cast thanks to the cult appeal of WHAS. This funny take on the Ten Commandments has potential.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

2007-03-12T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dito Montiel has put together what can only be called a true piece of art with his film A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Full of powerful performances from a stellar cast, this coming of age story set in a sun drenched Queens circa 1986 zeros in on Dito and his gang of buddies. Robert Downey, Jr and Shia LaBeouf both take on the role of Dito at different times of his life, and draw you in with their reserved approach. But the stand out star is Channing Tatum who plays the hot head Antonio, a battered kid hell bent on protecting his buddy Dito at all costs.

If I have to compare this picture, I'd mesh Kids with Basketball Diaries. But the reason I would put this movie above them both is the style that Dito drenches this film in. Setting a movie in the 80's could have led to trouble with getting over the top with songs and costumes, but Dito underplays the whole thing and manages to make the film about the performances.

As a first time director, Dito is remarkably self assured taking the helm on his own autobiography and baring his wounds for all to see. This story is tough, gritty and incredibly moving, and for his efforts Dito was awarded both Director's Award (Dramatic) and Special Jury Prize (Dramatic) at the 2006 Sundance Film Festival. It's a triumph, an independent movie that gives you an engrossing story, rich characters and incredible heart.

The Pick of Destiny

2007-03-10T09:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes movies come out and you just know you should avoid seeing them in the theater. The problem is that you wind up avoiding truly horrid movies at the same time you overlook movies that look bad, but wind up being on the good side of things. Does that make any sense? Let me further bring the point home with an example. It doesn't take a genius to realize that you are better off skipping Norbit regardless of medium, but once the DVD rolls out you might be tempted to put on the Netflix queue and eventually realize that your reason for avoiding it in the theater in the first place is the same reason you should have just avoided it completely. But then there are times like this, when you say "no way I'm paying $9 to see a Tenacious D movie" and then slap it on the Netflix queue and pop it in the DVD player on a quiet Friday night...and actually enjoy yourself.

Now I'm not suggesting that this movie was worthy of seeing in the theater, afterall it's a comedy and the big screen is only useful for action films anymore. No, what I'm trying to say is that even though the trailer made it look a bit hookey, the premise is kind of funny and not nearly as poorly executed as it could have been. Now I will say that I'm a D fan, so if you have heard some D in the past and think it's shit, you might want to shy away.

Things you can't deny about this film however:

Jack Black is charismatic and hilarious when he is let loose. (See High Fidelity.)

JB and KG are talented musicians and know how to write songs that could fit into a metal record or a musical on Broadway.

The cameos are clever. (Meatloaf, Dio, Tim Robbins and of course, Ben Stiller.)

The movie's plot is silly, but silly like Mr. Show and not silly like the umpteenth American Pie direct to DVD film. But the movie is quick, no fat on it, and the bottom line is that a comedy only works if it makes you laugh and I laughed a bunch watching these two chubby rockers ham it up for 90 minutes.

America, it's your Top 12!

2007-03-08T18:34:00.000-08:00

American Idol becomes a charity show? No, I'm not talking about the trip to Africa that Ryan and Simon took to visit the poor. I'm talking about how the voters kept in Sanjaya!!! What the hell? And then on top of that, The Wedding Singer Haley gets to stay as well? Unreal.

Adios Jared, Sundance, Sabrina and Antonella!

And now the fun begins...

Amazon Unbox

2007-03-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

I liked this better when it was called Itunes.

Losers.

Welcome to 2004 Amazon. We've been waiting for you.

American Idol: Road to the Top Twelve

2007-03-07T18:54:00.000-08:00

Time for the ladies.

Much simpler assessment here. Anyone who is not white, please step forward. That leaves 1 slot open and I'll bet it is Kelly Clarkson light, rocker chick Gina Glocksen.

Melinda Doolittle and Lakisha Jones are the front runners on the ladies side. Both are very, very strong singers of the soulful variety. Melinda comes off to me as a little strange, so I think that gives the edge to Lakisha.

The next tier is Jordin Sparks (the youngster), Stephanie Edwards (the manish looking girl) and Stephanie Sloan who kind of looks like a black Barbra Streisand. All three have some ethnicity in them and I consider them all to be pretty solid singers.

Below that we have Gina Glocksen as the stand out white girl. What is helping Gina is doing songs like she did tonight, an Evanesence tune. Being the "rocker" gives her an advantage because no one else is trying to pull that off.

And bring up the rear are my picks to get the boot tomorrow night, Antonella Barba (has a girl ever made it this far on just looks?) and Haley Scarnato (the wedding singer). Both of these girls just look so horrible compared to the company they keep above. How can you follow Lakisha and bust out an Aerosmith song? It's not working chickies...

American Idol: Road to the Top Twelve

2007-03-06T17:42:00.000-08:00

This week we will have our final 6 guys and 6 girls rounding out the all important Top 12 for American Idol. With that in mind, I think I owe it to you all to break down the remaining guys tonight and the remaining girls tomorrow night to see who we have to choose from.

Blake Nelson, the beat box faux hawker. This kid is doing something that no one else is doing, and that is bring some coolness to what has become a somewhat corny show. Keane, Jamiroqui and this week 311's All Mixed Up is stuff that has never been heard on this program and it's giving the guy an edge.

Sanjaya Malakar is a hot mess. Clearly this kid with his long flowing locks and baby voice are tragic to watch. This week he busted out the flat iron and just looked incredibly creepy. It sucks because I kind of liked him during the audition process, but man oh man....John Mayer he is not.

Sundance Head gave us some Pearl Jam this week and I think I can still hear Eddie Vedder streaming in his Seattle living room as I type this. The guy has serious pipes, but that chest hair is flat out nasty looking. And I feel really bad saying this considering my propensity for facial hair, but his beard is annoying.

Chris Richardson is a bit of a front runner, he is like Justin Timberlake light. Spicing it up with some Jason Mraz last week and getting smooth tonight with his five o'clock shadow and Keith Urban slow jam. I think considering his competition among the men, he is one of the best by default.

Jared Cotter...flat out forgettable. I cannot remember any song he did before tonight, and tonight he just did a piss poor impression of Stevie Wonder. I fully expect to see him missing next week.

Brandon Rogers, the male back up singer (not to be confused with Melinda Doolittle the female back up singer) is famous for pandering for votes after a horrid performance during dedication week. This week he sings a song that sounds mysteriously like a car commercial.

Phil Stacey, is the bald guy. Very capable singer, but very generic. Missing You was an interesting choice last week. This week, terrible song choice. Probably getting by on the fact that he is a Dad and not exactly his talent and that won't get him far enough.

Chris Sligh, the mop top, chubby dude from South Carolina, absolutely working against himself each week with his song choices. The kid is perhaps the best singer in the bunch, but refuses to do a song that people can recognize and that will wing up hurting him as the contest progresses.

Okay, so there's your field of men. I see Jared and Sanjaya heading home this week. My odds on favorite to finish as the top dude...Chris Richardson with Blake Nelson on his heels.

Guilty Pleasure of the Week

2007-03-04T11:06:00.000-08:00

Style Network has a show called Split Ends that is essentially the same concept as Wife Swap but with hair stylists. A stylist in one city swaps out with one in another city and they work in each other's salons for a week. It's so gay...but I love it.

Undisputed

2007-03-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

Oh, dear. Andrew "Dice" Clay has decided to mount a comeback. According to the first two episodes of his new VH1 reality show, his goal is to sell out Giants Stadium. I guess selling out Madison Square Garden in 30 minutes almost 20 years ago gave this guy the idea that he is some special kind of talent. Well, I can say that Dice can still be funny. At least his stand up clips from the present day show he can execute a joke with ease. But come on now, selling out a stadium? That's a joke right?

Dice has become a cartoon. His urban street wear in plus sizes that clearly he bought at TJ Maxx couple with his giant black glasses make him seem even more aloof than you were expecting. However, the show's "reality" "scenes" are so contrived and set up, clearly the guy is working some schtick to the nth degree in the desperate hope that someone will care. What's truly sad is that the show does have some moments that are funny, so when the set ups take place you feel cheated a little. After seeing this path taken by Bonaduce, Hulk Hogan, Britney and Kevin, Gene Simmons and many, many, many more this just feels like Osbornes light. In a word, terrible.

Academy Awards Recap

2007-02-26T04:09:00.000-08:00

First, let me say that in my annual Oscar pool, 23 people participated and someone who took the genius approach of providing only the name Chris took home top honors by correctly predicting 15 of the 24 categories. Hmmm...Chris....not a very popular name...and certainly not a name that could be used for a boy or a girl. In any case, congrats to you on your victory whoever you may be.

I will say that Poison Scooter made a strong showing with a Joolie coming in a close second with 14 right and me rounding out the top 3 with a weaker than usual showing of 13. I'll try to justify my off year in a moment, but first let's review the show.

Ellen Degeneres: Was it just me or did some of her jokes seem to fall flat on the crowd? I've always liked her, even before she came out as a lesbian and a closet dancer, but her style is very different and I'm not certain that it worked completely.

Melting Pot: As Ellen pointed out in her opening monologue, this year's field of nominees was the most diverse in the history of the presentation. Two African American men nominated for Best Actor, many tech awards recognizing the three strong films by the Mexican Amigos (Babel, Children of Men and Pan's Labyrinth) and Penelope Cruz getting a nod for Best Actress in a Spanish speaking film. The only downside was that as a result of this melting pot kind of night, it made for shitty television. 75% of the acceptance speeches were incoherent, thick accents and in the case of Ennio Morricone's honorary trophy, the man spoke Italian and we had to have Clint Eastwood awkwardly translate. Yikes.

Predictable: Chris Connelly kept talking about surprises on his back stage camera, but come on know...Whitaker, Mirren and Hudson were guaranteed winners before the night even started. And you think someone had a hunch about Director and Best Picture? Spielberg, Coppola and Lucas giving out the Best Director trophy and joking about winning one right before they read Marty's name off the card. Jack Nicholson presenting with Diane Keaton giving out the trophy for his movie The Departed. Lame. I will agree with Connelly on two surprises, Melissa Etheridge taking down powerhouse Randy Newman (19 nominations) and three tunes from Dreamgirls in the Best Song category. And how the hell does Pan's Labyrinth lose Best Foreign Film to a German copycat of The Conversation? You can't say Pan's had the best Art Direction, Make Up and Art Direction in all of film and then let it lose out to The Lives of Others. You just can't.

Acting? Awards: As far as the acting awards went this year, I was 4-4 on my predictions. Why then do I feel completely disappointed? Well, I hate awards going to people who are impersonating a real person (Idi and the Queen), is that really acting? And Jennifer Hudson's win is just stupid, although Supporting awards sometimes are this silly. (See Marisa Tomei or Cuba Gooding, Jr. as examples)The only person I was happy to see win was Alan Arkin and that makes me sad.

Politics: Al Gore did take home his prize for putting out the best Documentary this year, and in the course of the show he and Leo Decaprio made some fuss about how the Oscars finally went green. (It's 2007 for christsake!! What took so long???) And in the course of his two times on stage, the vibe in the room just got odd. I don't think people really want him to run for office again, but they seem to be forced into faining interest for the sake of television.

No Frontrunner: What killed my predictions this year was that there was no real frontrunner film out there. As mentioned, the top acting prizes, director and you could even say the screenwriting awards were slam dunks and did well to reward five different films across 7 categories. Couple that with a strong sense that Pan's Labyrinth would lead the field with technical awards (eventually taking home 3) and you pretty much leave the Best Picture race wide open and the only really interesting award this year. All of the films nominated won at least one trophy, but none won more than three until The Departed took home the prize and collected it's leader of the pack fourth award of the night. I can't recall the last time the film that won the most awards only took home 4 statues?

Is it over yet?: The final nail in the coffin for me, after I live with the fact that I don't care for many of the acting choices, hate Marty Scorcese getting a trophy because of a great script and incredible acting and seeing Children of Men shut out; was that this show would never end. Maybe it's because I had to get up for work at 6 AM, but I can't recall a show going on as long as this one in the last 20 years. Maybe they should trim things up by dropping those little movies by Michael Mann and Nancy Myers; but even then you are gaining maybe 8 minutes. I have no idea where the time went, why did this show seem to last forever?

And so, the award season in film is officially over. In all fairness, I still have a few films to see before I make my final opinions about what I think were the best performances of the past year. I haven't seen The Queen, The Last King of Scotland or Dreamgirls...and a few others like Little Children and Notes on a Scandal. But, I think my top ten films of 2006 look a little like this:

1. Children of Men
2. Pan's Labyrinth
3. Half Nelson
4. Babel
5. Little Miss Sunshine
6. Borat
7. The Departed
8. United 93
9. The Devil Wears Prada
10. An Inconvenient Truth

...and all were at least nominated this year.

Spirit Awards

2007-02-25T15:09:00.000-08:00

Film Independent's Spirit Awards were doled out last night and the two big stories were that Little Miss Sunshine took home pretty much all the trophies (Best Feature, Best First Screenplay, Best Supporting Actor) except for the one-two punch of Best Actor and Best Actress which went to the two leads in Half Nelson, Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps.

For me, the joy of watching the Spirit Awards is three fold. Sarah Silverman hosted last year and returned this year, and that woman is just super funny in small doses. Her opening filmed segment and monologue were pure gold.

Secondly, the musical tributes to the Best Feature nominees throughout the show are hysterical most of the time.

And finally, the films rewarded are always the best stuff out there. Little Miss and Half Nelson were both incredible and made outside of the studio system. All the actors at this show are relaxed and come across as real and as artists, something you loss with all the pomp and circumstance at let's say the Golden Globes or Oscars.

AMC replayed last night's live telecast this morning at 9 AM, and another opportunity to watch them is on IFC Wed, Feb. 28 at 06:30 PM EST. Set your DVR and give them a look see.

Babel

2007-02-25T14:48:00.000-08:00

Alejandro González Iñárritu's Babel is a multicultural, interlocking story involing a Japanese business man and his teenage deaf-mute daughter, a wealthy American couple visiting Morocco and the Mexican immigrant nanny left behind in the States to care for their two small children. While Iñárritu plays with time structure, jumping through time within a 5 day period, you begin to anticipate what is going to happen, expecting it while not completely sure you know exactly how things will unfold.

The basic theme of the movie is loss, much like Iñárritu and writer Guillermo Arriaga's first collaboration 21 Grams a few years back. In their recent film, the loss of a child between Brad Pitt's Richard and his wife Susan (Cate Blanchett) send the course of events in motion as they try to reconnect on a vacation in Morocco and leave their living two kids in the care of their nanny who travels with them back into Mexico for the wedding of her adult son. A freak accident with a gun given as a gift to a Moroccan hunting guide by a visiting Japanese business man disrupts the lives of Richard and Susan and shifts the focus over to the sexually blossoming and depressed daughter of the business man, played with intensity and grace by Rinko Kikuchi.

Both Adriana Barraza as Amelia (the nanny) and Rinko Kikuchi are up for Best Supporting Actress at tonight's Oscar and it's a shame that the Jennifer Hudson express is pretty unstoppable this year. Barraza brings a voice to an illegal in this country, something that we have a tendancy to avoid thinking about as a nation. And Kikuchi is raw and fearless as a deaf mute that wants so depserately to be normal enough to be attractive to boys and wishes she could just tell someone to take her sexually. The awkward situations that Kikuchi's Chieko gets herself into allow the actress to put forth the most demanding performance in the film and from a relative unknown, well it's just a wow type of job.

This film completes the much triumphed trio of strong films from Mexican filmmakers in the past year. And I'll have to say when I'm putting together my own top ten of 2006, something I honestly need to do, Babel is up there in the top five with both Pan's Labyrinth (del Torro) and the much under rewarded Children of Men (Cuarón).

Oscar Fun

2007-02-23T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sunday night the Academy Awards take place. I like predicting the winners. It's a long standing tradition. If you are interested in going head to head with me, then by all means join in the fun.

Enter your picks!

The Departed

2007-02-22T16:56:00.000-08:00

Dread. That was my feeling about this remake of Infernal Affairs that did well in the theater and is generating a lot of buzz for Martin Scorcese to take home a Best Director Oscar (finally.) Personally, I don't care for Scorcese's work. Perhaps one reason I avoided seeing this film in the theater. Secondly, as a fan of the original, I was disappointed that Marty was going to fuck with a really good movie and perhaps tarnish it.

Well, let me say that I was completely wrong. And for that, I'm sorry.

Yikes. For a movie that is 2 1/2 hours, it flies by. The story might even be better in this re-telling than the original, and the ending is literally breath taking. Stellar performances across the board, even by guys not getting much press like Alec Baldwin and Ray Winestone. I would like to point out that Marty shouldn't win Best Director on Sunday just because of that cheesy as hell final shot in the film, but something tells me he's going to finally score a bald guy despite my feelings.

Not only did I enjoy the movie, but now I'm kind of pissed that Matt Damon isn't up for an Oscar. In fact, I would have probably nominated Leo, Jack, Mark and Matt.

Love Is a Mix Tape

2007-02-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Rolling Stone columnist Rob Sheffield's book Love is a Mix Tape will appeal to the cassette tape generation, those of us who communicated to each other via the perfect mix. Sheffield does a great job of capturing a generation of music fans, although he's a little to into Pavement when I was more of a Sebadoh guy, and explores the process of making and listening to a mix tape in this quick read. However, let me caution you that this book isn't a throwaway look at a bygone musical phenomenon. Nope, it's a wonderful love story, or rather a dedication to Sheffield's deceased wife Renee who died suddenly at the age of 31.

Rob and Renee are the typical indie rock couple from my memories of college. (For those who knew me then, I picture a Tim Murray and Theresa Madden type of union.) Renee is a wild child, Rob is more of a music nerd and they both DJ at a local Charlottesville college station. In great nostalgic detail, Sheffield recounts who they met, fell in love and does it all cleverly through chapters dedicated to various mix tapes he is revisiting that his dead wife made him. The passion behind Sheffield's writing about not only his love of music, but his grief over becoming a widow at a young age is very touching. I would suggest this book to you specifically if you ever had a love that you shared mix tapes with or if you were a music fan between 1981-1995. A sweet ode to music, a dead artform and a woman who sounds like an amazing person.

Half Nelson

2007-02-20T08:12:00.000-08:00

Looks like Ryan Gosling's performance in this little indie film is legit. Gosling is a dark horse Oscar candidate this year for playing a crack addicted middle school History teacher and does a remarkable job of making his character incredibly likable with little more than a sideways smile or a tossle of his hair.

Gosling's Teach is an addict. We never know exactly how that happened, short of seeing glimpses of his folks towards the end of the film in full on drunk mode. Genetics at work? Depression over losing the love of his life? The strange thing about his addiction is that he never wavers from wanting to teach his students about history. All nighters take their toll on Teach, but he never misses a day of work.

The crux of the film is when a free basing Gosling is caught in the act by one of his students, the very capable Shareeka Epps, and is forced to formulate an odd friendship with her to avoid the inevitable, losing his right to teach due to his habit. Both student and teacher look out for each other, making sure that each is making the right choice.

What I found refreshing about this movie, aside from the performances, was the utter lack of judgment towards these characters. No one in the film is perfect, they all wear their flaws on their sleeve and you cannot help but respect them for that. Gosling as a crackhead seems like a better teacher than 90% of the teachers I had as a kid. Even the drug dealer's appear to be men just trying to make ends meet, which is more the reality than the way television and media portray the lifestyle.

This is for me, the male version of Sherrybaby. Stunning performance, gritty story and a simplistic approach to filmmaking. You don't need car crashes or big name stars to make a move touch you.

Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno)

2007-02-15T12:54:00.000-08:00

My entire life I've loathed kid's movies. Not because I hate children, but rather as a child I was bored with their predictibility and niceness. I guess over time I just learned to gravitate towards darker fare as I hit elementary school. Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal, Return to OZ, these were the kinds of kid's movies I enjoyed. Not Disney crap like Flubber or Herbie Goes Bananas. I wanted the dark stuff.

Guillermo Del Toro has perhaps accomplished something rare and divine by making a kid's movie for adults with his universally acclaimed Pan's Labyrinth. This Spanish language film devotes equal time to both fascist Spain during war time and a mythical underworld where Ofelia, our child protaginist, spends her daydreaming time to escape from her brutal stepfather and the war going on around her.

The visuals are stunning, the creatures and fairies are at once scary but oddly endearing. Sergi Lopez, who was fantastic in Dirty, Pretty Things, is mesmerizing and terrifying as the brutal and authoritative Captian. But the real feather in the cap on this one is the storytelling. Wow. A perfect blend of history and fantasy, equal parts Diary of Anne Frank, Alice in Wonderland and the Princess Bride smothered in muted tones and espanol. Fantastic film.

American Idol

2007-02-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

A month of build up is now behind us and America, you have your Top 24. Simon, Paula and Randy made some curious selections this year.

Check out the full contestant roster here.

My underdog pick of the year is mop top, Jack Osbourne doppleganger Chris Sligh. Chris just so happens to be from South Carolina, so should he pull of an unlikely victory like Taylor Hicks we would have another Idol from the South.

On the whole I'm not impressed with the girls at all. Gina Glocksen has that Kelly Clarkson charm, but I'm not sure she does much better than Top 5. The real talent appears to be on the male side of things, Sanjaya Malakar and Paul Kim are nice additions to the usual black and white world of idol, and I like them both.

Sundance Head, this year's Chicken Little or Scott Savol?

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T20:53:00.000-08:00

While you were all out with your valentine, I was painting a piggy bank and posting to my design blog, je ne sais quois.

Bonnaroo 2007

2007-02-13T18:44:00.000-08:00

The lineup has been announced, and I can almost hear Joolie declaring "we're going!" which will no doubt happen tomorrow morning. Tragically, June 14-17 is the weekend before my long awaited family escapade to Disney and I will no doubt have to take a pass. Although, David Cross, Dave Attell and Lewis Black all on the same stage really gets me juiced. Musically speaking, I'm seeing a bunch of bands I wouldn't mind seeing...but perhaps not bad enough to put up with 3 nights of camping. Shit, I loathe camping. Let's see, Tennessee isn't too far from Orlando...maybe...

Full Line Up (Thus Far)

The Police
Tool
Widespread Panic
The White Stripes
Ben Harper & the Innocent Criminals
Wilco
The Flaming Lips
Manu Chao
The String Cheese Incident
Franz Ferdinand
Bob Weir & Ratdog
Damien Rice
Ween
Gov’t Mule
Ziggy Marley & the Melody Makers
The Decemberists
Kings of Leon
Michael Franti & Spearhead
Wolfmother
Regina Spektor
Galactic
The Black Keys
DJ Shadow
Gillian Welch & David Rawlings
Spoon
Keller Williams (WMD’s)
Sasha & John Digweed
STS9
Old Crow Medicine Show
The Hold Steady
North Mississippi Allstars
Fountains Of Wayne
Hot Tuna
Feist
Hot Chip
Lily Allen
John Butler Trio
Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys
Aesop Rock
The Richard Thompson Band
Dierks Bentley
Xavier Rudd
Gogol Bordelo
Junior Brown
Tortoise
T-Bone Burnett
Mavis Staples
Clutch
Cold War Kids
Dr. Dog
Paolo Nutini
Brazilian Girls
RX Bandits
The Nightwatchman
The Slip
Girl Talk
Railroad Earth
Martha Wainwright
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Annuals
Tea Leaf Green
Sam Roberts Band
Elvis Perkins in Dearland
Charlie Louvin
Sonya Kitchell
Mute Math
Apollo Sunshine
Uncle Earl
James Blood Ulmer
The National
The Little Ones
Ryan Shaw

Comedians:
Lewis Black
David Cross
Dave Attell

Jackass Nuggets

2007-02-13T18:38:00.000-08:00

Bam Magera's new show is almost as annoying as his bride's accent.

Entertainment Weekly reports that Johnny Knoxville is separating from his wife of 11 years which begs me to ask the question. Knoxville is married?

When are they going to box Jackass and Jackass Number 2 into one cheaply priced set? Damn already.

Top 100 Love Songs

2007-02-13T18:04:00.000-08:00

In honor of Valentine's Day, the NY Daily News put together a list of the top 100 love songs of all time. Although I get the impression that not one song has etched itself into the fabric since 1989 based on this list, the classics of the 50's and 60's are where you will find the simple, yet powerful stuff and so I'm cool with it on the whole. But the ranking is all wrong to me. I highlighted my top ten on this list because I can.

1. "My Girl" The Temptations
2. "I'll Be There" The Jackson 5
3. "Wonderful Tonight" Eric Clapton
4. "I Just Called to Say I Love You" Stevie Wonder
5. "You Are So Beautiful" Joe Cocker
6. "In My Life" The Beatles
7. "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" Roberta Flack
8. "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Elvis Presley
9. "Michelle" The Beatles
10. "I Can't Stop Loving You" Ray Charles
11. "Best of My Love" The Emotions
12. "Bridge Over Troubled Water" Simon & Garfunkel
13. "All I Have to Do Is Dream" The Everly Brothers
14. "You've Got a Friend" Carole King
15. "Killing Me Softly With His Song" Roberta Flack
16. "To Sir With Love" Lulu
17. "Sherry" The Four Seasons
18. "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" Queen
19. "Unchained Melody" The Righteous Brothers
20. "Save the Last Dance for Me" The Drifters
21. "Stay" Maurice Williams and the Zodiacs
22. "Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" Carole King
23. "Up on the Roof" The Drifters
24. "He's So Fine" The Chiffons
25. "I Will Follow Him" Little Peggy March
26. "Chapel of Love" The Dixie Cups
27. "My Guy" Mary Wells
28. "Happy Together" The Turtles"
29. "Back in My Arms Again" The Supremes
30. "I Got You Babe" Sonny and Cher
31. "My Love" Petula Clark
32. "(You're My) Soul and Inspiration" The Righteous Brothers
33. "I Will Always Love You" Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston
34. "When a Man Loves a Woman" Percy Sledge
35. "Reach Out I'll Be There" The Four Tops
36. "Strangers in the Night" Frank Sinatra
37. "Baby Love" The Supremes
38. "This Guy's in Love With You" Herb Alpert
39. "Love Theme From Romeo and Juliet" Henry Mancini
40. "Higher Love" Steve Winwood
41. "Sugar Sugar" The Archies
42. "The Long and Winding Road" The Beatles
43. "Close to You" The Carpenters
44. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" Diana Ross
45. "Let's Stay Together" Al Green
46. "Heart of Gold" Neil Young
47. "Here, There and Everywhere" The Beatles
48. "Lean on Me" Bill Withers
49. "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" Stevie Wonder
50. "Let's Get It On" Marvin Gaye
51. "Midnight Train to Georgia" Gladys Knight
52. "The Way We Were" Barbra Streisand
53. "Love's Theme" The Love Unlimited Orchestra
54. "Feel Like Makin' Love" Roberta Flack
55. "Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe" Barry White
56. "Then Came You" Dionne Warwick and the Spinners
57. "Lovin' You" Minnie Ripperton
58. "Shining Star" Earth Wind & Fire
59. "You Don't Have to Be a Star (To Be in My Show)" Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.
60. "How Deep Is Your Love" The Bee Gees
61. "You're the One That I Want" John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John
62. "Love You Inside Out" Bee Gees
63. "Come On Eileen" Dexys Midnight Runners
64. "Time After Time" Cyndi Lauper
65. "Crazy for You" Madonna
66. "Take on Me" a-ha
67. "Moon River" Henry Mancini
68. "With or Without You" U2
69. "Vision of Love" Mariah Carey
70. "Kiss From a Rose" Seal
71. "Girl" The Beatles
72. "Chelsea Morning" Joni Mitchell
73. "P.S. I Love You" The Beatles
74. "Just Like a Woman" Bob Dylan
75. "Do You Believe in Magic?" The Lovin' Spoonful
76. "Still in Love With You" Al Green
77. "Somewhere" Stephen Sondheim and Leonard Bernstein
78. "On the Street Where You Live" From "My Fair Lady"
79. "Saving All My Love for You" Whitney Houston
80. "Always on My Mind" Willie Nelson
81. "Crazy" Patsy Cline
82. "Sexual Healing" Marvin Gaye
83. "Do You Want to Dance?" Bette Midler
84. "Fever" Peggy Lee
85. "Last Dance" Donna Summer
86. "Just the Way You Are" Billy Joel
87. "Songbird" Fleetwood Mac
88. "You Make Loving Fun" Fleetwood Mac
89. "At Last" Etta James
90. "All I Want" Joni Mitchell
91. "Natural Woman" Aretha Franklin
92. "A Man and a Woman" Anita Kerr Singers
93. "Someone to Watch Over Me" Linda Ronstadt
94. "Some Enchanted Evening" From "South Pacific"
95. "Do You Love Me?" From "Fiddler on the Roof"
96. "Alison" Elvis Costello
97. "How Can I Tell You" Cat Stevens
98. "Have I Told You Lately" Van Morrison
99. "When I Fall In Love" Nat King Cole
100. "Oh Girl" The Chi-Lites

Reverbia

2007-02-12T18:10:00.000-08:00

The Silversun Pickups made me drift off of the road at least twice today. I would get excited about a song and completely forget that I was driving a car. Their sonorous sounds and muffled mouths will entrace you if you don't watch out. Carnavas, the band's first full length album, was released in the summer of 2006 and they have toured with one of my favorites, Wolfmother as well as the lovable and aerobic OK GO.

SSPU remind me of a disbanded troupe called The Anniversary, who played moog-heavy pop rock that could melt you in an instant. It is music like this that makes me think of crisp autumn days, a loved one reaching for your hand, a smile from a stranger. Less and less music does that these days and when a band like SSPU comes around it's best to get the most that you can out of it before it fades away like The Anniversary did.

My favorite tracks on Carnavas are "Lazy Eye", "Little Lover's So Polite" and "Melatonin"

Listen if you like: My Bloody Valentine, Jupiter-era Cave In and Sunny Day Real Estate

Jesus Camp

2007-02-12T04:33:00.000-08:00

This Oscar nominated documentary will probably not be strong enough to unseed Al Gore's Global Warming picture as the odds on favorite this year, but I would suggest renting it and giving it a looksee.

The peek you get into the brainwashing of children in the Evangelical religious sect is both disturbing and educational. Pastor Ted, the guy who in recent months was exposed as a homosexual, meth doing liar and hypocrite, got denounced and recently announced that he was now 100% heterosexual, even makes a small, telling appearance in this and it's probably the funniest part of the whole thing.

Some scary information I gleaned from this includes the tidbit that if Evanglicals (born again Christians like George W. Bush) choose to vote in any election, they can essentially pick the winner. And here's another one, 75% of all home schooled children are Evangelicals and they are all being taught that science is a fraud and creationism is fact. Yikes.

This is a camp like none that I've ever seen. Children are focred to repent things like Harry Potter and smash mugs with words written on them all in the name of the Lord Almighty. And this is before you get to set eyes on a very gentle looking 8 year old speak in tongues and cry relentlessly. Perhaps the scariest movie I've seen in the last year.

The Grammys

2007-02-12T04:21:00.000-08:00

Eh, does anyone really care about these awards? Instead of focusing on the awards given to Mary J. Blige, Ludacris and Red Hot Chili Peppers, all multiple nominees and winners last night, let's zero in on the lesser buzzed about winners. That's where I feel safe and somewhat normal...

Oh, yeah before I get to that, let me say that I'm kind of happy the Dixie Chicks won 5 trophies. Rick Rubin clearly pulled something cool out of them this year, and I was thrilled to see Dan Wilson from Semisonic accept a songwriting trophy with the gals. I'm a closet Dixie Chicks fan. Don't tell anyone.

Technical Awards that I found cool:
Engineered Album, Non-Classical: "At War With the Mystics," the Flaming Lips and Dave Fridmann, engineers (The Flaming Lips).

Remixed Recording, Non-Classical: "Talk (Thin White Duke Mix)," Jacques Lu Cont, remixer (Coldplay).

Sorry Weird Al:
Best Comedy Album: "The Carnegie Hall Performance," Lewis Black.

We Got Married In A Fever:
Best Compilation Soundtrack Album for Motion Picture, Television or Other Visual Media: "Walk the Line," Joaquin Phoenix and Various Artists.

Um, shocker?
Short Form Music Video: "Here It Goes Again," OK Go.

Not my favorite track, but I'll take it:
Best Male R&B Vocal Performance: "Heaven," John Legend.

How fun?
Best Hard Rock Performance: "Woman," Wolfmother.

Best Metal Performance: "Eyes of the Insane," Slayer.

And finally, if I have to choose mainstream artists that I admire and that don't annoy me 100% of the time...I can live with both of these.

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance: "Ain't No Other Man," Christina Aguilera.

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance: "Waiting on the World to Change," John Mayer.

Mayer of course is a Grammy favorites, but I'm torn on him as a person right now. Dating Jessica Simpson? That's messed up. But his forray into stand up comedy shows bravery and a sense of humor. Why does he look like crap in every picture I see of him though?

And Xtina, well the girl can sing. And that tune is catchy as hell.

Anyway...

Is Howard K. Stern the New O.J. Simpson?

2007-02-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

There is no doubt in my mind that Howard K. Stern killed both Anna Nicole Smith and her son. The guy is creepy. Seriously. I've always thought he was just around to supply Anna with medications so that she never had a clue what was going on.

Sherrybaby

2007-02-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

This movie is a downer with a capital D. Not that I am suggesting it isn't good, because it is quite a stand out performance by Maggie Gyllenhal, but prepare yourself for some pretty horrific stuff.

The basic plot outline pretty much gives you an idea of what to expect. Sherry is released from prison and attmepts to get back into her young daughter's life, stay away from herion and transition back into society. And let's just say, the path isn't an easy one. Some of the scenes are pretty shocking, especially considering Maggie's resume up until now.

Gritty, sad and tragic.

Silly Rodriguez.

2007-02-06T13:58:00.000-08:00

Seriously, Michelle? Seriously? I definitely would have chosen pants to cover the ol' police issued "accessory"...

The Death of Mr. Lazarescu

2007-02-05T17:39:00.000-08:00

What a strange and oddly moving film this turned out to be. First of all, it was made in Bucharest, not exactly the Mecca of foreign cinema and the cinematography portrays every location as if it reeks of piss. Gritty. The realism doesn't stop with the visuals. No, we are dragged into the health care system of this dark, dank city in real time as we slowly watch Mr. Lazarescu get bounced from hospital to hospital as he slowly suffers from the effects of a hematoma in his head and liver problems caused by alcoholism.

The film's running time is 2 and 1/2 hours, but feels like 7 hours. And that normally would rub me the wrong way, but here was rather engrossing. Scenes unfolded so horribly slow that you can helped but be riveted and forced to digest what is happening. The doctors are either incompetent, disinterested or just plain assholes. In fact, even Mr. Lazarescu is a bit of a prick. Everyone is kind of unsavory come to think of it. But again, this works to make this film feel like it's a documentary rather than actors working from a script. Truly fascinating.

I'm probably not doing this film justice with this review, but if you read just the highlights here on metacritic.com you will see that it was revered as one of the best films of 2006. I'm not certain that I would give it that kind of status, but it does make me think about what we spend our money on making here in the US. Epic Movie?

The Death of Mr. Lazarescu is a simple movie that is made for barely nothing in a country that hardly matters to America. It's a scathing indictment on a collapsing health care system doesn't provide many belly laughs but stings us with it's very dark humor, and in my opinion is what filmmakers should be striving to make here in the US. Furthermore, movies like this need to be seen by the public. Quit paying $35 on a Friday night to see an unnecessary remake of The Hitcher.

Knocked Up

2007-02-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

From the team that brought you The 40 Year Old Virgin...

Trailer.

Nice.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

2007-02-02T06:01:00.000-08:00

Having studied film during the rise of the dreaded NC-17 rating, I was well aware that receiving this rating from the Motion Picture Association of America rating board is the kiss of death for a film. Theater chains are hesitant to carry a film with this rating due to low profitability, larger DVD and Video chains like Blockbuster don't stock NC-17 on the basis of morality and generally the public can be off put by the rating assuming it's going to be hard core porn. Afterall, NC-17 did replace the X rating back in the late 80's.

Kirby Dick having viewed numerous films over the years, much like me, came to the only conclusion one can make about not only the NC-17 rating but ratings in general. They make no sense. Sharon Stone can show her complete vagina in Basic Instinct and it's an R rating. Maria Bello shows a patch of pubic hair in The Cooler and it's NC-17 territory. Huh? Well, everyone kind of knows that the modern studio system probably plays a part. Basic Instinct is backed by one of the majors and The Cooler was an independent film. Maybe the studios have more access to the ratings board? That's a good start anyway...

And so Kirby decided to make a documentary about the ratings board of the MPAA.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated attacks not only the inconsistencies in the ratings bestowed by the board, interviews with impacted directors like Kevin Smith, John Waters and Atom Egoyan abound, but goes after the fact that the board members are anonymous and shrouded in secrecy. All we, the public, are told about these 10 people who control who can see what film is that they are all parents of children under the age of 18, a criteria put in place back in the late 60's when Washington put Jack Valenti in place to monitor and rate films for public consumption as head of the MPAA.

Dick cleverly hires a private investigator to track down the identities of the board members and films the progress over a period of a month. In the end we learn that the board is full of people whose children are grown and have been rating movies well beyond the 3-5 term that is outlined in the MPAA propaganda. But even more humorous than using a lesbian PI to hunt down everyday citizens is Dick's decision to reveal them in this documentary and submit this very film for a rating through the board he exposes. Clearly, he is slapped with an NC-17 rating.

Dick does a wonderful job of pointing out the stupidity of the process a filmmaker has to go through without boring the crap out of everyone. The film is funny, but you have to wonder what the hell are we doing with this stupid system in place in 2007?

Well, the good news I suppose is that I just read this article on Yahoo and it looks like some changes are under foot thanks in no small part to the work of Kirby Dick.

Highlights include:

Board members must now step down after their children are grown so their decisions reflect the concern of current parents of young children.

Most CARA members will continue to be anonymous, but the association will describe the board's demographic makeup on its web site.

There will be a formal training program for rating board members so they understand their charge as board members.

The MPAA also will shed some light on how the board decides which rating a film receives on the MPAA web site, along with information about the appeals process filmmakers must pursue if they disagree with a rating.

As a proud viewer of NC-17 films, I think that this will help some artists get their movies more viewings by mainstream America. If a filmmaker knows what to cut to get an R, they are given an opportunity to play ball in this messed up system. It's not perfect, but it's at least something. My one argument would be the byproduct of allowing board members with grown children on the board the last 10 years is that perhaps movies have been getting softer ratings since the raters are out of tune with the youth of America and that making the board stick to a membership of parents with school age children might make the board actually a little stricter. I guess time will tell.

The good news is that it's always cool to see the power of an idea. Kirby Dick had such an idea and it's creating change. And seeing this film in that light makes it much more enjoyable. Imagine if watching Fahrenheit 9/11 would have led to the end of this silly war we are in?

The Sarah Silverman Program

2007-01-31T16:46:00.000-08:00

Usually I watch something and then tell you all about it. Well, how about this for change? Tomorrow night (Thursday) at 10:30 PM you should tune in to Comedy Central and watch Sarah's new show. I don't know much about it, but Sarah is hilarious. The end.

Screen Actors Guild Awards

2007-01-29T04:33:00.000-08:00

That annual pre-cursor to the Academy Awards that recognizes the best performances across film and television took place last night and there were little surprises. Helen Mirren and Forest Whitaker have been racking in the awards for their work as world leaders, Queen Elizabeth and Idi Amin respectively, and last night they both took home "the actor." Typically those who score SAG awards repeat at Oscar time and with the overwhelming support both of their performances are garnering, it would be quite stunning for someone else to win.

The same can be said for Jennifer Hudson, American Idol cast off and feel good story, who has been dominating the race for Supporting Actress for her work in Dreamgirls. The only real race of the big four for actors that is left to be decided is whether or not Eddie Murphy can build steam for his Supporting role in Dreamgirls. Murphy won the SAG, but he has been losing more than he has been winning this award season. The good news for Murphy is that the field last night contained almost the same faces as it will on Oscar night. Only Mark Wahlberg was missing and looks to be a dark horse anyway considering the lack of performance nominations The Departed received from the Academy.

The best news of the night for me was the Ensemble acting award, SAG's equivalent of Best Picture, went to Little Miss Sunshine. Only four castmates were on hand to accept, Abigail Breslin, Alan Arkin, Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear (all nominees in other categories and Kinnear a presenter.)

Steve Carell was awarded for his work as part of team twice actually. The Office took home the top prize for Ensemble Comedy Show, another win I fully support!

Alec Baldwin and America Ferrara repeated their Golden Globe wins in the comedy lead categories. Hugh Laurie also took home the top prize in a drama for his work on House. The stunner was Chandra Wilson as fiesty Dr. Bailey on Grey's Anatomy who won female lead and also shared Ensemble Drama with her cast mates.

Highlights: Steve Carell and Julia Louise Dreyfus presentation interplay. Chandra Wilson thanking her 10 castmates here and "the one in rehab". Steve Carell's acceptance speech for The Office.

Smokin' Aces

2007-01-27T15:27:00.000-08:00

When I first saw the trailer for Smokin' Aces, I was blown away. I thought that this was going to be one of the best "action" movies of the 2007 and that Ben Affleck might end up finally showing us that he can actually act. I was horribly, horribly disappointed. But I did get to see a ten year old with a boner and a few awesome shoot-em-up scenes that made the experience somewhat worthwhile.

The movie's plot is somewhat simple and you don't really pay attention to it until the end where they try to blow your mind but fail to. Jeremy Piven who can do no wrong in my eyes plays Buddy Israel, a David Copperfield-esque Vegas performer who has decided that he wants to play mob boss and make some more dough on the side. One of the top mafia guys decides that Israel has stepped over the line and makes a call to a man known only as the "Swede", setting up a million dollar bounty on Israel.

Ryan Reynolds enters the scene as an FBI agent hot on the trail of the bad guys, following a slew of mercenary killers to Reno as they race to claim the astronomical bounty on Israel's head. Israel has holed himself up in the penthouse suite of a Reno hotel because he has just decided to rat to the Feds and is laying low until his witness protection program kicks in.

The cast of "killers" ranges from a lesbian tag team, redneck electro-punk nazi wierdos, a master of disguise and a few other stereotypes. All lend their own little flavor to the movie; I found the rednecks to be the most annoying because you can't really tell what they're supposed to be.

This is a movie that promised the world and only gave us a piece of dirt. Okay maybe a handful--there are redeeming moments that will keep you somewhat amused.

The Shins - Wincing The Night Away

2007-01-25T17:06:00.000-08:00

Is it too soon to declare the new The Shins album the best album of 2007? Holy crap. I'm stunned by just how good this long awaited follow up to Chutes to Narrow actually is. James Mercer's voice is soothing on the opening track Sleeping Lessons and immediately you realize that this effort is a million times better than everything else the band has ever done.

Mercer's songwriting gets stronger and he has a control over his voice now; those two things make me smile. His songs fill the void left by Neutral Milk Hotel with their wordiness and eloquence. I've always been a fan, but now I'm like uber-fan. Look at me...I'm gushing incoherently....why? Well, I'm listening to the CD for the third time in a row, and I can't stop.

So let me paraphase New Music Express. "their best yet."

Yep, that about sums it up. Every track stands out.

Listen to Red Rabbits and Girl Sailor if nothing else. Beautiful shit.

Dear Celebrity Asshole,

2007-01-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

Isiaih Washington. Listen up. You are a scumbag. First of all your character on Grey's Anatomy is boring and useless. You should be thankful you have a job. But no, you have to go and call your co-star a faggot. And then get into an onset fight with McDreamy over it. And then have the nerve to deny you said it at the Golden Globes in front of the cast who heard you say it. And guess what? There is no such thing as rehab for this problem. Asshole.

Speaking of assholes. Anne Heche. Ugh. Do you realize that six months ago you were under everyone's radar? We forgot you were a lesbian married to Ellen who cheated on her with a camera man filming a documentary on your "wife" and then went "crazy" wandering in yards and seeing spacecrafts. We forgot you married this camera guy and had a kid and named said kid Homer like an asshole. Yep, you were a figment of our imagination, a person we laugh about once in a while like Sean Young. But no, you do a TV pilot and it gets put on after the number 1 show on TV and now here you are again, in our world. And how do you decide to continue to resurrect your career? Oh yeah, you screw over your husband and fall for your co-star. And for good measure you break up his marriage too. Christ lady...are you for real?

Academy Award Nominations Announced

2007-01-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

The Oscar nods came down this morning and the list appears to be slighty on the edgy side. Except for the crazy omission of Sacha Baron Cohen, Golden Globe winner for Best Actor in a Comedy. Come on Academy, get a clue. Comedy is hard to pull off and should be rewarded.

Since the show is still a bit away, I'll save my projections until a later date. I just need to point out a couple observations on the nominations and I'll be on my way.

Little Miss Sunshine getting both Alan Arkin and Abigail Breslin nominations in supporting roles is sweet. I loved this movie, and Breslin is only 10 years old which is astonishing.

Only acting nomination for the Departed was Mark Wahlberg....interesting.

Ryan Gosling took away my Borat nomination, but it's good to see someone get a nod for a little seen indie picture.

No Best Foreign Film nomination for Mel Gibson. (The jews fight back?)

Pan's Labyrinth cleaned up in the non-acting nominations, scoring six.

Best Picture: Babel, The Departed, Letters From Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, The Queen.

Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond ; Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson ; Peter O'Toole, Venus ; Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness ; Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland.

Actress: Penelope Cruz, Volver ; Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal ; Helen Mirren, The Queen ; Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada ; Kate Winslet, Little Children.

Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin, Little Miss Sunshine ; Jackie Earle Haley, Little Children ; Djimon Hounsou, Blood Diamond ; Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls ; Mark Wahlberg, The Departed.

Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, Babel ; Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal ; Abigail Breslin, Little Miss Sunshine ; Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls ; Rinko Kikuchi, Babel.

Directing: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel ; Martin Scorsese, The Departed ; Clint Eastwood, Letters From Iwo Jima ; Stephen Frears, The Queen ; Paul Greengrass, United 93.

Foreign Language Film: After the Wedding, Denmark; Days of Glory (Indigenes), Algeria; The Lives of Others, Germany; Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico; Water, Canada.

Adapted Screenplay: Sacha Baron Cohen and Anthony Hines and Peter Baynham and Dan Mazer and Todd Phillips, Borat Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan ; Alfonso Cuaron and Timothy J. Sexton and David Arata and Mark Fergus and Hawk Ostby, Children of Men ; William Monahan, The Departed ; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, Little Children ; Patrick Marber, Notes on a Scandal.

Original Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, Babel ; Iris Yamashita and Paul Haggis, Letters From Iwo Jima ; Michael Arndt, Little Miss Sunshine ; Guillermo del Toro, Pan's Labyrinth ; Peter Morgan, The Queen.

The full list.

Proceed with Caution: Reading Material for the Twisted Mind

2007-01-22T11:27:00.000-08:00

Russian Criminal Tattoo Encyclopedia by a bunch of Russians. one with the first name of Danzig. Sweet.

Russian tattoos just look tough. And you never know when you might find yourself imprisoned in Moscow with a Bolshevik cellmate. Fun fact: the most common Russian prison tattoo is a cat, which is associated with the characteristics needed by a thief.

Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach

Author Mary Roach is known for her book “Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers” in which she investigated the quirks and mysteries involving dead bodies. Now, she has met with scientists and such to find out what happens when we die. Is there an afterlife? She tracks down people who feel that they have been able, or will be able to product scientific evidence that there is life after death.

Let Me Finish by Udo Grashof

This book contains 45 suicide letters from various people in hopes of finding some sort of commonality in the stories and thoughts of these poor souls. Grashof asks why someone will kill themselves over unrequited love, while others would simply cry for a week and get over it. While suicide remains quite a “touchy” subject, maybe the million people a year that follow through with it would have benefited from frank discussion, leading to prevention.

Flags of Our Fathers

2007-01-22T07:32:00.000-08:00

Clint Eastwood is a very talented man. A writer, a musician, a director, an actor; accomplished at the highest levels at many of these skills. After seeing Flags I suggest we add historian to the list.

Now like a history book, some parts are boring and some are kind of cool, but unlike a book the juicy parts are visual and moving images convey a better sense of what went on than a book in my humble opinion. My knowledge of what took place on Iwo Jima during WWII was limited, so I got a better sense of the sacrifice of our troops, the tenacity of the Japanese and the terrain's pitfalls.

The tone of the movie differs from Speilberg's Saving Private Ryan and that may be intentional by Eastwood. You almost get the sense that he is not only telling a story of faceless and nameless heroes, but that he is somehow trying to point out how horrific war in general. It's as if it's an anti-war movie wrapped up in a war movie costume. The soldiers are treated as expendable, both during the battle and after the war is ended. Racism was touched on slightly with African Americans, but more with Native Americans due to the fact that one of the flag raisers on Iwo Jima was Ira "Chief" Hayes portrayed by the superb Adam Beach. And it is in the story of the men who are just one of many who sacrificed so much to end this war that you can see Eastwood's message.

The flaw I found in the film had to do with the character development of the main characters. Both Ryan Phillippe and Jesse Bradford are slightly wooden as actors in this picture and I needed more depth from them to care about the men thay portayed. The war sequences were fantastic, although not as graphic as recent movies of World War II. Clint perhaps spread himself too thin making two movies about the war in one year, scoring the films and doing it all while approaching 80. Or perhaps when viewed as one half of a whole, I need to see Letters to Iwo Jima first to truly figure it out, the movie will have more resonance.

Children of Men

2007-01-20T10:22:00.000-08:00

This masterful piece of art by Alfonso Cuarón, portrays a gloomier than normal Britian, pulling itself apart from the inside because one day children just stopped being born. It's a fascinating story, what would happen if conception just went away and the remaining children became adults. Schools would become wastelands, of no use. The sound of a baby's cry would become foreign.

Would chaos ensue as envisioned by P.D. James (author of the novel the film is based on) and Cuarón's team of writers? Outstanding leaping point for a film, only further exemplified by the brutal realism of the opening, jarring scene. Cities around the world are in turmoil, burning and being seiged by military action. A byproduct of the lack of births appears to be the formation of political activists demanding answers and suspecting the worst of the lechery of the government and the brewings of a race war. Interment camps are once again a reality and immigrants are cattled into these gritty slums and forced to exist in an even worse underbelly than the crumbling cities around them.

The cinematography and camera work draws you into this ugly place, and the set pieces are at once futuristic and contemporary giving this movie a feeling of realism you don't get in most sci-fi pictures. It's an achievement in filmmaking that is rare these days. Intense story, literally a heart racing escape and chase for two hours, actors never detracting from the story with such subtle performances, great use of music to create mood. This is a film to be studied in future college level film course for the next generation of aspiring directors.

One could argue that the relative downer premise and truly sad ending would take away from the film, but I disagree. Movies should exist to make you think and feel. And Children of Men does just that. You will be riveted, ocassionally forced to look away and ultimately invested in the plight of Clive Owen's Theo. A magical experience.

American Idol

2007-01-18T16:29:00.000-08:00

Is there a bigger phenom in TV history? The show just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger. The audition show from Tuesday night was the second highest rated episode ever. An audition show people!!!

Now being the TV whore that I am, I did tune into all four hours this week and here's what I've learned.

1. The show is getting meaner and meaner. It was funny when a bad audition was buried in among some talented folks, but now it's just relentless. They do full profiles of a person before you even get to hear them sing and then they are a trainwreck. Why make these people who are clearly fans look like such fools?

2. Paula is getting higher. As in "that bitch is on something." I thought she was asleep during the entire episode that featured Jewel. Didn't hear her make a peep. Strangeness.

3. They have to be planting some of these people. There is no way that these folks are that delusional. The monkey eyed kid and his fat retarded buddy? The red headed pot head guy? The mother/daughter team in awful wigs and red lipstick? I just can't imagine these people exist.

Part of me wishes they would forgo this audition process on TV and just give us a singing competetion. However, I do know people who watch the show only during this part of the season for the comedy of it. One thing you can't deny is the absolute water cooler aspect of this show. I honestly find myself getting a funny look on my face when I run across someone who didn't watch last night. For some reason, I don't trust those people.

The Golden Globes

2007-01-15T17:14:00.000-08:00

Real time blogging here people...

8:02 PM...The Cloon looks like shit. PARTY MUCH?

8:06 PM...water works ensue as Jennifer Hudson, a virtual nobody, beats out Cate Blanchett for Best Supporting Actress.

8:07 PM...Prince is a no show?!?! Nice dig Timberlake. Do you realize, no Prince = no Justin?

8:11 PM...Jeremy Irons beats both Hiro Nakamura and Ari Gold? Unreal.

8:16 PM...Mrs. Bacon wins for a show no one watches. That's nice. Kyra is the new Michael Chiklis. Maybe I'll love the Closer in a couple years on DVD.

8:18 PM...Nancy O'Dell? Hmmm...she's a lot better looking than Dick Clark. Thanks for stroking out on us Dick!

8:26 PM...that's why he's a writer folks. Nice delivery Peter. 56 years ago....zzzzz.

8:30 PM...Emily Blunt was amazing in The Devil Wears Prada. But what the hell is Gideon's Daughter?

-I'm already bored to tears at the idea of doing this real time thing. Something good better happen soon. Wait, the cast of HEROES? I'm all ears!!!!

8:32 PM...did they really need 12 people to present an award? Everyone loves House! Why am I not watching this show? What no cut away to a pissed Keifer? Oh...there it is. God damn, is this House fellow this funny on the show? Somehow I doubt it. Not bad for not preparing anything Hugh.

8:35 PM...What is that in your hair Hillary Swank? A giant diamond flower? It barely detracts from your horse teeth. Barely.

8:40 PM...Charlie Sheen looks just as he did in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. And that's not a good thing. Way to suck your big brother's cock off Chuck. "Stand up Emilio!" "I am standing!"

8:42 PM...Golden Globes finally add Animated Film as a category? Way to make the Oscars seem ahead of the times. Carrell...you are supposed to be funny dude. What's the deal? Saving it for your acceptance speech I assume? What?!?! No Larry the Cable Guy shout out? Beat.

8:50 PM...Meryl Streep in a landslide...no shock there. Classy broad that Meryl Streep. Love the attack on big movie chains...especially since that is my new hell. Indie cinema needs an outlet and Meryl says I should "quietly, authoritatively demand it." Of course, Meryl doesn't realize that the man I would be demanding this from finds it necessary to post a sign outside his theater to not only exclaim that a movie is in subtitles but to explain that subtitles means "the words are written at the bottom of the screen." I shit you not.

8:55 PM...BORAT! BORAT! BORAT!

8:57 PM...speaking of subtitles, can I get some for Salma Hayek please?

8:58 PM...Something won something...not sure what Salma said it was, but based on who walked up on stage I can't say I give a fuck.

9:01 PM...Eddie Murphy will tarnish this all in about 30 days when Norbit gets released in a theater near you. Trust me. And you are not forgiven for Pluto Nash!

9:04 PM...Prince sighting?! And he's trying to shield himself from the camera? Guess who was taking a shit when he won an award tonight? The purple one!

9:09 PM...Bill Nighy wins for Gideon's Daughter...guess just went on my Netflix list?

9:12 PM...Helen Mirren is having a great year. Playing two Queens and winning awards for both all over the place.

9:20 PM...Best Screenplay...The Queen...Peter Morgan. Welcome to America dude. Only Clooney gets to go on and on about politics here buddy.

9:22 PM...toughest category of the night. Best Actor in a Comedy Series. Alec Baldwin!!! Yikes!! The new kid in TV town upsets Monk! Thank God!!! Who could possibly be upset at Alec Baldwin winning a Golden Globe. Oh yeah, Kim Basinger probably.

9:31 PM...Ugly Betty is Best Comedy. Why? Well, there are versions of this show in practically every country and since this is the foreign press...yadda, yadda, yadda. The Office was robbed!

9:37 PM...Mel Gibson and Clint Eastwood nominated in the Foreign Film category is incredible. And Clint gets another trophy for the mantle.

9:45 PM...More Prince nonsense. Come on, if he didn't come up when he won, then fuck him. Move on...

9:52 PM...America Ferrara wins for Ugly Betty. Well at least I didn't have to hear another Desperate Housewife ramble on and on. Now I get to hear a chubby Puerto Rican babble on and on and on and on.

Cecil B. Demille bestowed on Warren Beatty. Time for a bathroom break.

10:25 PM...wow that was quite an intermission...Marty Scorsese is a hack. All he did was remake a movie from 4 years ago.

10:29 PM...Sasha Baron Cohen sans Borat schtick is still pretty hilarious. Best acceptance speech of the night by a mile. Refreshing to see him not only nominated, but to walk away a winner.

10:35 PM...Dane Cook gets to be on the Golden Globes? What is wrong with the world?

10:37 PM...J. Lo is going against herself right now. Isn't that Dance show of hers on MTV right now? Anyway, Best Comedy or Musical is ... surprise! not a comedy!!! It's Dreamgirls. I'm convinced if you make a Musical these days you will pretty much win this award. Chicago won it. Moulin Rouge won it. Oh wait, Rent didn't win it. Okay so I'm wrong. The point is, Borat is the funniest movie of the past 10 years and lost out to a bunch of people singing.

10:42 PM...Grey's Anatomy. General Hospital at night. I'm a fan.

10:45 PM...Are they rushing things a bit now? Guess that 25 minute Warren Beatty thing was a mistake, no? I'd rather hear these winners for more than 27 seconds!!

10:46 PM...Helen Mirren as the Queen is about a predictable as you can get. I don't think there is a Best Actress statue that she hasn't won yet for this role. But I'll be damned, Mirren is the sexiest old lady EVER. Go rent The Cook, The Theif, His Wife and Her Lover and you will see a gorgeous 40 something Mirren getting naughty. Sequel anyone???

10:48 PM...commercials still? I want to end this insanity already. I'm tired and the laptop is burning the tops of my thighs from resting it there for 3 hours!

10:50 PM...so we have what left? Actor and Drama Film? I'm sensing a Martyfest.

10:51 PM...come on already!!!

10:52 PM...Heroes is back next Monday. Yes!!!!

10:53 PM...Leo cancels himself out or is Forest Whitaker just on a tear like Mirren this year? Wow...I can't tell if Forest is genuine or just acting in his acceptance speech? Maybe he's auditioning? And what is up with his eye? Did he always have a crazy eye situation? I don't recall Radio Raheem having eye issues.

10:56 PM...Ahnold, the Governator is presenting Best Picture? Well they are holding this shindig in his state.

10:59 PM...Ha. He's on crutches!!! Priceless. Wow!! Babel pulling an upset of sorts. This I like very much. This is the year of the Mexican. Babel, Pan's Labyrinth and Children of Men are three of the strongest movies of the year and all were made my Mexican filmmakers. Go Mexico!

I'm going to forgo any cohesive analysis until the next day. And screw spell checking this as well. Good night y'all.

Everybody Into The Pool : Beth Lisick

2007-01-15T11:59:00.000-08:00

To crown Beth Lisick the female David Sedaris might be premature, but this collection of brief snap shots of her life has the same mixture of comedy and tragedy found throughout Sedaris' collected works.

Lisick, a San Fran based spoken word artist and mother, recounts some rather odd moments from her past, laid out for our enjoyment in her book Everybody Into The Pool. What I like about Lisick is her ability to take pretty horrific events and make them extremely humorous. How do you make a story about stealing money from nuns for an abortion seem like a delightful anecdote? Lisick does it, and does it with ease. Or what about the time she dabbled in lesbianism to see if it was her true calling? Or what about the time she bought a house in the projects against the judgement of her upper middle class parents and almost caused a race war over being too lazy to care for her lawn.

World Trade Center

2007-01-15T08:58:00.000-08:00

Before you see this film, you need to really ask yourself if you are ready. Are you ready to revisit this catastrophe? Are you really ready? Oliver Stone delivered a movie that is very understated and heroic, one that will not leave you quickly. And you need to brace yourself for it.

It's a tale of 2 men trapped in the rubble fighting to stay alive.

It's a tale of 2 wives confronting their worst fears.

It's a tale of 2 towers collapsing to the ground in confusion.

It's a tale of 2 men figuring out what they are good at in the face of tragedy.

But above all, it's a tale of human spirit and triumph.

Oliver Stone could have easily got caught up in the blame game, focusing on the politics surrounding 9/11; and instead (much to my surprise) gives us a unique perspective on 9/11 devoid of anything more than watching heroes do the work that heroes do. Is this the same Stone who gave us conspiracy theories on Kennedy's death and anti-Vietnam films? It is. But it is a kinder, gentler Stone. A man who clearly did his best to not tarnish such a unifying event in the lives of all Americans.

The cast, a mixture of the recognizable and not so recognizable, become merely faces in this story. A testament to the writing and above all the performances. Is there a bigger, over the top hack than Nic Cage? Well, you would barely recognize the man in his role as a Port Authority sergeant. (The same could be said for Stephen Dorff or Frank Whaley, both playing very small albeit crucial roles and doing so with chameleon-like aplomb.)

It's hard to critique a film like this. More or less, you are immediately caught up in the unfolding story, right back there the day it happened and for two hours you just watch. You are not judging the music, or the framing of the shots. You are not questioning the plot, or looking for flaws in the script. You are simply riveted and wishing that what you are watching never happened.

So again, I stress that you must ask yourself if you are ready. Ready to relive 9/11.

Fast Five...

2007-01-14T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am excited for the following flicks based merely on buzz and trailers.

1. Smokin' Aces (watch trailer below)

2. The Lookout

3. Disturbia

4. 300

5. Pan's Labyrinth

What are you eager to see?

Shooting Sizemore

2007-01-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

Celebrity trainwrecks like Danny Bonaduce and Flavor Flav certainly carved their notch out on VH1, scoring not only ratings but a renewed fan base. I for one never thought Tom Sizemore was in the same category as Flav or Bonaduce, so I was very skeptical going in to watching Shooting Sizemore on Sunday night. Was Sizemore going to be larger than life, over the top for the sake of trying to save his drowning career? I wasn't looking to watch another cocky, dysfunctional C-lister act a fool for the cameras for 30 minutes a week.

Sizemore is genuinely a mess. Facing possible prison time for alledgedly beating Heidi Fleiss a few years back, Tom has avoided going in to the big house thus far by dragging things out in court, getting addicted to crystal meth, going bankrupt and spending 3 months in rehab. This reality series appears to be focused on Sizemore seriously attempting to get his life together, and you can't help but feel bad for the guy. (Something that Breaking Bonaduce fails to illicit in viewers.)

But perhaps I'm just biased in that Tom is a Temple University alum like me. In fact he graduated from the same school within Temple, the year before I started college. And his resume is a litany of movies that I revere like Saving Private Ryan, Black Hawk Down, True Romance and Natural Born Killers. So I think maybe I'm pulling for him more than most...

If the season preview is any indication, this show will at least captivate your attention for 30 minutes. And that's all you can ask from a show.

Cameron.

2007-01-12T07:02:00.000-08:00

Call me!

DVD Vault

2007-01-10T19:24:00.000-08:00

Luc Besson wrote another fast paced, over the top action film and I'm willing to bet you haven't seen it. District B13 is set in France, some time in the future at a time when most of the dregs of society are corralled behind a wall in the shadow of Paris. The story is your basic good vs. evil, with David Belle (Leito) and Cyril Raffaelli (Damien) teaming up as the side of the good vs. the entire District riddled with drug dealers and gang members.

Much the flavor of Besson's Transporter series, the film is one part Run Lola Run, one part Jackie Chan with French dudes and one part any revenge thriller on the market. What makes this movie a must see is the antics of Belle, the real life inventor of a discipline known as Parkour, which consists of moving quickly and efficiently in any environment, using only the abilities of the human body. Seriously, you have to see this guy to believe it. Astonishing. And Raffaelli is no slouch having been a long time stunt coordinator and master of shotokan karate and wushu.

I'm not going to lie, I'm a Besson fan. Danny the Dog (Unleashed stateside), Fifth Element, Le Femme Nikita, Leon (The Professional stateside) and even the Transporter movies are interesting and unique in their own ways, something that endears me to Besson. The guy has one hell of an imagination. But, if you don't like his other work or aren't really into some serious action, then I suggest staying away from this 2004 French flick.

The WTF couple of the moment

2007-01-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson. Really.

Razorlight

2007-01-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

It’s just like England to keep a band like Razorlight from our rock and roll deprived ears. Those British bastards have had frontman Johnny Borrell and his mates for years, and selfishly have kept them from us, much like the Kooks or the Kaiser Chiefs. No, we have to listen to Beyonce, Lil’ Wayne and Cowboy Troy on the radio. I get closer and closer to becoming an expat every time the radio disappoints me.

Razorlight’s self-titled album, their second release to date, hit the US in late August 2006. With 10 eclectic tracks that range from ska-influenced to Talking Heads-influenced, this CD will get sweeter and sweeter with every play. Borrell uses his voice as percussion in several sections, adding a staccato howl to “Back to the Start”.

I was able to see them perform on London Live, which is my new best friend. They sang “Los Angeles Waltz”. Borrell wore all white but looked less than virginal as he stared into the cameras with pinhole sized pupils probably altered by some form of hard drug. As he sang the words “You and I, we belong together” a capella as the band came to a halt, it was apparent that he had every single audience member by the throat.

Yet, I don’t see any upcoming US tours, sadly. There was one with Muse (another great) that was canceled. Look forward to this rough and tumble crew, and make sure to pick up their US debut.

Twofer Book Review

2007-01-08T16:24:00.000-08:00

I Know You're Out There: Private Longings, Public Humiliations, and Other Tales from the Personals
by Michael Beaumier.

As editor of the personals for the Chicago Reader, a big city independent weekly, Beaumier has a unique perspective into the pursuit of love and does his best to recount memorable stories about strange clients, chatty co-workers and the ranking of the personals department in the pecking order of a newspaper. I'll give you a hint, not real high up there.

What Beaumier tries to do by sprinkling in tidbits from his life (his large Irish catholic family, his lush mother, the death of his infant sibling, his homosexuality and failing relationship) into the book doesn't work for me. I went in expecting funny stories about personal ads and got a side of Augusten Burroughs. That's not to say that I didn't like the book as a whole. Beaumier's life story is actually the stronger parts of the book, making the title and back cover synopsis all the more frustrating. But the harsh reality is that Burroughs life is more interesting and therefore, I'll stick with his memoirs.

My Pet Virus: The True Story of a Rebel Without A Cure by Shawn Decker

Thankfully, this quick read by the living with AIDS author Shawn Decker was exactly the opposite, in that it also mislead me but I was pleasantly surprised by what I experienced in reading the memoir rather than being disappointed. The back cover quote reads "I was destined for a life of medical drama from day one. I was born in the month of July, and my horoscope sign is a disease (Cancer). The symbol for Cancer? A crab - the sexually transmitted critter. Not only that, my parent's named me Shawn Timothy Decker, which makes my initials S.T.D." and so I imagined a tragic weepy detailing the life of a gay man who contracts HIV in the days before anyone knew what was happening. Wrong.

Shawn Decker was a kid with a problem with his blood. It's called hemophilia. Much like the deceased Ryan White, Shawn was a victim of the misunderstood beginnings of HIV and AIDS here in the US, a victim of a bad blood transfusion. But unlike White, Decker has lived well beyond expectations for over 20 years with not only HIV but a nice helping of Hep C as well.

Decker painstaking details what it is like to have zero expectations from a young age because every says that you will eventually die. Decker had no desire to finish high school, let alone college. Never got a real job. Lived with his folks. Until that is Shawn hit 21 and decided that he was going to live with the disease and not just die from it. And thankfully, he is quite the writer despite his lack of education. His life story is wrought with more humor than horror and giving voice to someone who was a victim of circumstance is a welcome insight to me, even if it is 20 years too late.

Fame Games

2007-01-08T16:08:00.000-08:00

God bless VH1 and the desire of C-list celebs to embarass themselves for our viewing amusement. Yep, the Surreal Life is back (sort of). Instead of the Real World format the show has used the past 6 seasons, this time the celebrities are all ex-cast members competing in silly games to win a 100K. But the real reason anyone watches is to see the likes of Briggette Neilsen chilling with Vanilla Ice and CC Deville. And if the first episode is any indication, we are in for another wild ride compliments of Ms. Glamazon Neilsen and her new foil, Chyna Doll.

The tragedy of the first episode is the plight of Mini Me Verne Troyer who goes from co-host, to participant, to bottom feeder in the course of an hour. If you haven't seen it, let me explain as best I can. Jordan Knight, the New Kid, was a reclusive pussy on his season of Surreal Life. Why he came back is anyone's guess. But luckily for the viewing public he had a quick freak out and left the show unexpectedly. (He says death in the family. Sloppy voice over work and editing suggest a mental breakdown.) Enter Verne who was co-hosting with Robin Leach up to this point and now gets tossed in to keep the numbers at an even 10. The result of losing the insipid competitions is to cast off the losing celebrities from the A-List (the nice part of the mansion) to the B-List (the crappy decor adorned part of the mansion.) and poor Verne was banished to the B-List after losing the first challenge.

Watching these quasi- famous trainwrecks co-habitate isn't everyone's cup of tea, but it is so mine. I could watch Emmanuel Lewis, Ron Jeremy and Traci Bingham chit-chat for hours and not get bored. And since the preview of the upcoming season pretty much reveals that Vanilla Ice is running away with the contest, I'm all the more intrigued.

Beer League

2007-01-06T08:01:00.000-08:00

Artie Lange, late of Mad TV and current Howard Stern sidekick, has created that special guy film that marries dick jokes, racial humor and softball perfectly and the laughs are machine gun rapid in this bawdy, low budget affair. Prior to Beer League, Artie had cult status in some circles due to his involvement in the Norm McDonald written/Bob Saget directed Dirty Work.

Like Dirty Work, the jokes are raunchy and the guys are more or less playing versions of themselves. Lange on the Stern show is known for his doting mother, his love of Molly Hatchett and AC/DC and his proclivity to swill Jack Daniels at any hour of the day, so seeing all of these flesh out his character in the film (also named Artie) makes you wonder if this is a work of fiction or just a documentary on Artie's softball league in Red Bank, NJ.

Lange was fortunate to get names like Seymour Cassel (hilarious as the oldest member of the team) and Ralph "Karate Kid" Macchio to participate for most likely peanuts. The movie looks like it was shot in about 10 days, but the low budget nature to the film adds a sense of realism to the affair. The dueling plot lines are your typical sports movie variety, Artie's team needs to win the Championship to stay in the league and they basically suck coupled with Artie's quest to find a good girl to settle down with, she just happens to be the town whore. Although the love story is treated somewhat sweetly, the jokes are raw and borderline filthy (chicks banging black guys, botched blow jobs, herpes and the dreaded "how many men have you had sex with" are some of the topics) and may not appeal to women or gay men.

I guess as a guy, one who is slight robust in build (like Lange) and occasionally obnoxious, I was enamored with the film more than most. If you like sports movies and you think Austin Powers, American Pie and Animal House are funny, then you will probably get a kick out of this one. I laughed my ass off. And that's rare these days.

The Last Kiss

2007-01-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

The Last Kiss was nothing like I had expected it to be. Upon seeing several trailers for it before its release, I thought that I had a good idea of what was going to happen in the movie, which was: boy thinks he's in love, meets a rad girl, and said rad girl shows him that he was able to make different choices in his life, that he didn't have to "settle". But the real world doesn't work that way, does it?

Loveable Zach Braff plays Michael, a 29 year old man who seemingly has a life that most would kill for. His core group of friends are in similar situations. This movie, much like Garden State, deals with the troubles of breaching adulthood. It explores the finality of youth and how most individuals have an extremely hard time letting go. Braff's character meets a younger woman at a wedding, Kim, played by Rachel Bilson. Kim openly flirts with him and gives him her phone number, leaving Michael confused and somewhat titillated. Braff does a wonderful job of conveying different emotions and feelings just through a twitch of an eye or a gesture. The scenes where he is simply by himself, fighting his inner demons, are the ones that compelled me the most.

In this movie, writer Paul Haggis attempts to convey real-life scenarios and how these troubled relationships would work out in reality. I feel that he has done a wonderful job at this; it is much more believable for Michael to have a horrible time with Kim than a good one--Bilson's character is loathable the second she opens her mouth and hits on someone who isn't available.

Jacinda Barrett also holds her own as Jenna, Michael's girlfriend. She has made some wonderful career moves since her Real World days, and I'm excited to see her in future performances.

The Last Kiss was quite surprising, and quite good. I'm starting to think that Zach Braff has a King Midas thing going on.

Pursuit of Happyness

2007-01-04T14:55:00.000-08:00

Will Smith does his best to hide the fact that he is perhaps the wealthiest African American man alive and plays a poor, eventually homeless father in this tearjerker. What I did learn from watching Smith's performance are the following:

1. Smith can NEVER play a villian. The man just exudes a genuine likability that cannot be shaken.

2. Smith is more than just a clown. There are some humorous scenes in this film, but not enough to say this is even a dramedy and Smith is very capable playing earnestness.

I'm not saying he will earn an Oscar for this movie, but I'm certain he will get a nomination. The movie itself isn't amazing, it's pretty standard issue Hollywood. But Smith makes the movie better than it would have been by putting himself into the movie from producing, to casting his own son as his onscreen co-star and giving us one hell of a performance. And that kid of his is not only cute as a button, but a pretty strong actor in his own right. I've seen this before where a kid does their best work along side a parent, Tatum O'Neal in Paper Moon comes to mind. Perhaps having the parent there to coach you along in scenes is the key to success as a child actor?

In any case, I think you can do worse with movie choices. You will be entertained for sure, but don't expect to be blown away.

United 93

2007-01-02T21:37:00.000-08:00

Is it too soon? That was my thought when I first saw that this film was made, and then released on the eve of the 5th anniversary of 9/11. As a result, I didn't go see it in the theater. I just wasn't ready to relive the tradegy of that day and I think I thought that it would be a film that just rings of bad taste.

How far off the mark was I? Extremely. Paul Greengrass has put together a film that is very simple and powerful as it unfolds in real time, re-hashing not only the plight of the passengers on United flight 93 but the entire attack that fateful day. The outcome is well known, so you would think it would be hard to create a build up but Greengrass' decision to film the story in verite/documentary style adds such a level of realism to the events that it makes you feel like it is happening all over again, and you push aside your memories of the events so familiar and concentrate on the people on board the plane.

Greengrass made a wise decision to cast actors that would not distract from the story, so the most familiar faces you will see are Christian Clemonson and possibly David Rasche (He was Sledge Hammer back in the 80's sitcom.) Sidenote: Clemonson is tearing up the screen on Boston Legal as Jerry Espenson a lawyer who has suffers from severe ticks and has some incredibly back luck, but here has such a presence as essentialy the leader of the passengers who plot to overthrow the hijackers.

The film will hit you as an American in the face. I've been exposed to so many things about 9/11, it's ties to Bush, the possible conspiracy, the poor reaction time by our leaders, and although I'm not certain what really happened, it's not what this movie chooses to deal with. It's simply telling the story of the people who lost their lives that horrible day. And for that, I am thankful. Thankful for it's existence. And thankful that I brought myself to watch it.

The Decemberists: The Crane Wife

2007-01-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit late on this review, as the first album The Decemberists dropped for Capitol Records officially came out back in October of 2006. And to make matters worse, if you read any music themed blog (Stereogum, Pitchfork, etc.) I'm sure you have seen at least casual mention about how strong the album The Crane Wife truly is. Universal acclaim is one of those things you have to take notice of when it comes to music, and so I've given the cd a thorough listen and decided that it's a winner.

As a fan of Picaresque, an early release of The Decemberists, one would think I would have run out and grabbed this cd up immediately. Well, one would be wrong. Here's why. I was not sure I could really appreciate Colin Meloy's voice for another album. Much like Death Cab for Cutie's Ben Gibbard, Meloy has a very muppetesque vocal style that outside of small doses can sound more engineered than genuine. But in all reality one of the strengths of The Crane Wife is just how Meloy's voice adds something to the sound of the record. The Decemberists manage to sound at once contemporary yet oddly nostalgic at once on songs like When The War Came and Sons and Daughters. The record could be called revolutionary (war) ish or something equally as clever, but to make jokes would take away from the impact that the record has as a collective of very involving and interesting songs.

While pop acts toil away at the next hook or double entendre, this band is crafting melodic and grandiose compositions layered with instrumentation and brimming with life. Now Fergilicious has it's place, but it would be a better world if the kids were singing along to a rousing song like O, Valencia instead. That's all I'm saying.

The Prestige

2007-01-02T12:51:00.000-08:00

At this point you probably will have to wait for the DVD if you haven't already seen The Prestige, but lucky for me I live in a town with a fully funtioning 99 cent theater and used my time off from work wisely by taking in a showing this fine afternoon in the new year.

I'm convinced the Chris Nolan is a master filmmaker based on only seeing 5 of his 6 films. Memento blew me away when it first came out, Guy Pearce was riveting and the backwards story line was not only an impressive script but the editing of that film was very carefully crafted. A feat once again acheived in the time jumping Prestige starring Christian Bale (aka the best Batman ever thanks to Nolan) and Hugh Jackman as rival magicians. Nolan and his brother have executed the best story about magic and sabotage I've ever seen, and thanks to the winning cast of this film, I'm willing to say it's perhaps one of the best films I've seen in the past year.

The Illusionist was a very good film about a magician, and had a very "pay attention" ending, but the film was more of a love story between Ed Norton's master and his assitant turned lover Beil. And not that The Prestige doesn't focus some energy on the women in the magician's lives, but the central theme is that of obsession and rivalry that goes to extremes you could not imagine. Both leads, Bale and Jackman, are tortured artists more intent on perfecting the greatest trick than anyting else. How they go about undermining each other is worth the price of admission and the finale is just something to behold. What makes the film so special is that you will see it coming, but in reality you won't. Just like an incredible magic trick.

The supporting cast turns in some fine work, strenghtening an already tight film from top to bottom. Stand outs include David Bowie channelling Pierce Brosnan with a strange Austrian (?) accent and the resurging Michael Caine. But the real show here is the performances of Bale and Jackman. Are you watcing closely?

Mortified

2007-01-01T08:37:00.000-08:00

Over the past 30 days I have amassed a small library to work through, and so prepare yourself for many book reviews in the coming weeks. Television gets all quiet this time of year and we start to get bombarded with those reality shows not quite strong enough for the start of the television season, so I should have time to read. I'm not saying I won't watch Beauty and the Geek (again), I'm just saying that when nothing's on I will have a book in my hand.

Mortified is a very clever idea for a book. Solicit people to hand over embarassing waxings from teenage journals and diaries and publish them as is with some commentary by the now grown up author. It's chock full of teenage angst and sexual frustrations of the unloved...and will bring you to tears laughing at least once. My favorite entry has to be by the girl who wrote this soft porn featuring her 13 year old self and the entire band Duran Duran. But the kid exchanging letters with his parents from summer camp is a keeper as well.

It's a quick read, you can do it in small 4 or 5 page chunks, and it's funny. That's all.

Face Hunter

2006-12-31T06:57:00.000-08:00

I love FaceHunter cause looking at euro trash in spandex is fun!

Dreamgirls

2006-12-31T06:23:00.000-08:00

The highly anticipated "Dreamgirls" opened on Christmas Day, to rave reviews. Bill Condon was given the reigns by Warner Brothers (who bought the film rights in the 80s) for the film adaptation of the 1981 Broadway musical that had earned over a dozen Tony nominations and Grammy awards for several of its cast members. Honestly, it's sad that something two decades in the making could look so rushed and hodge-podge. I'm not quite sure what the critics saw in this rough, scrappy movie. Possibly they wanted so much to like it, that they disregarded the lack of a store line, character development or any sort of pizazz that you would expect from such a great plot.

Beyonce Knowles plays Deena, a member of an all-girl group called "The Dreams". They are trying to "make it", and get a chance at performing at the Apollo, where they receive a warm reception. Deena is the pretty girl of the group, but her voice does nothing in comparison to Effie's. Effie White is the powerhouse of the trio, and belts out her gospel-driven songs like she's a wolf trying to blow the house down. Jennifer Hudson takes her shot as Effie in the movie adaptation, and does a better job than anyone else of immersing herself in her role.

For a little over two hours, we follow the Dreams as they try to make a name for themselves in the overly white pop music world. An interesting fact that the movie reflects on is that several songs recorded by black groups were "stolen" by record producers and re-recorded by more popular white groups. The original versions of these songs were then virtually erased by radio stations as if they were never there, mainly due to the heavy bribes, called "payola", that would result in the disposal of the previous recordings. This was highly illegal, but highly effective.

The Dreams' manager, Curtis, played by Jamie Foxx, decides that he wants Deena to be the lead singer. He thinks that her lighter voice and weight will carry the group into the pop world. Effie is destroyed by this and decides to leave the group. At this pivotal moment in the film, we are witness to Jennifer Hudson's moment of glory. She sings "And I am Telling You", which won Jennifer Holiday, the original Effie, a Grammy. Hudson puts every ounce of emotion into her performance, which literally had the audience that I was in burst into applause at the end of the scene. I would pay ten dollars again just to see those few moments; screw the rest of the movie.

The next part of the movie speeds up to six years later, and shows how the group has evolved now that the focus is on Deena Jones. She is now more interested in becoming a movie star, and starts to pull away from the girls as well as Curtis. Ultimately, she finds out what Curtis has done to get the group where it is, and is upset about the illegality of it. She contacts an estranged Effie and they begin to heal their deep wounds.

There are a lot of big names in the movie. Eddie Murphy, Danny Glover, Jamie Foxx, Beyonce Knowles...but Jennifer Hudson plows through them all like a pro. Her first role may just be her defining one. The story may be lacking, and you may be confused about just who the characters are, but Hudson's performances as Effie may just be worth it all.

Holiday Movies

2006-12-24T12:14:00.000-08:00

Now I get TBS playing 24 hours of A Christmas Story, but what is up with FX doing the same thing with Ice Age? Stoopid.

What do you think is the best Holiday movie? I'm pretty sure my vote would go to Elf for the sheer joy of it, but I'm a big fan of Bad Santa and Christmas Vacation. And even though it's not technically a Holiday film, I like Love Actually this time of year as well.

The Holiday

2006-12-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's a chick flick alright. But Jack Black is in it. And my favorite actress Kate Winslet. And the hot Cameron Diaz. But does that make it any good?

Sort of.

Nancy Myers really hit a homerun last time out with Something's Got to Give. Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson gave solid performances and the material was really well constructed. So what happened here on The Holiday? I like the idea of exploring the love lives of people who have interesting jobs (Diaz makes movie trailers for a living and hears that guy who narrates them in her head at various intervals throughout the film), but I kind of think that casting not only Black as a movie music composer, but Ed Burns as a fellow composer is a bit of a stretch. Winslet and her brother Jude Law are more believable as a writer and editor respectively, but must Myers always put her characters in such lofty employment? Nicholson was rap record label owner, Keaton a novelist in Something, Mel Gibson in the over the top What Women Want was an Ad Executive. Does she not think we would watch if Diaz was a school teacher and Winslet a secretary?

Anyway...there are some good laughs, but not enough to say this is a comedy. And there is some emotional heft, but not enough to say it's a drama. It's a bit lost in what it wants to be. I've heard some reviewers mention that it's the kind of movie that makes you wish you were watching Love Actually again on DVD. Silly, but kind of spot on. All the actors are very capable, even if slightly miscast in Black's regard, but the story lines are too convienent. It's typical mushy movie bullshit at the end and although I still liked the movie, I wouldn't say to rush and see it in the theater. It's a nice rental for "date" night with the significant other. (In other words, if you have to watch a flick of this nature it beats some crap with Kate Hudson...if you get my drift fellas.)

Best of 2006 : TV

2006-12-17T14:13:00.001-08:00

What was the best TV had to offer in 2006? Well, I can think of at least a couple dozen but I'll try to keep my list to a top ten for the sake of seeming like a shut in who never turns off the tube.

1. Hiro Nakamura!!! My little lovable Japanese time stopper is the best reason among a sea of reasons that a) Heroes is the best new show on TV and b) you should be watching!

2. The Entourage boys.

3. James Spader and Will Shatner chewing up the screen on Boston Legal.

4. Tim Gunn.

5. Jim and Pam's cliffhanger kiss on The Office.

6. Alec Baldwin on 30 Rock.

7. Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford on Studio 60.

8. The incredible transformations that take place on The Biggest Loser.

9. Lost. I still have no clue 3 seasons in what the fuck is going on?

10. Call me a pussy, but I still think Grey's Anatomy is better than your average night time soap opera.

Best of 2006 : Film

2006-12-16T17:22:00.000-08:00

It's time for the year end list bullshit that is required of all blog sites. Let's get her rolling with my choices for best films of the past year. Let me preface that with the continuing development in technology (Tivo and Netflix) and rising movie ticket prices, I've kind of slowed down running to the theater to see every movie that hits the multiplex. But of what I did see, here's what I thought was the best.

1. Borat
2. Jackass 2
3. The Devil Wears Prada
4. Little Miss Sunshine
5. An Inconvenient Truth
6. Brick
7. Thank You For Smoking
8. Slither
9. Inside Man
10. The Break Up

Now I bet you were expecting some art house fare, or at least some of the front runners in the Oscar race...but I do live in the South now. We don't get exposed to much in the way of the talked about pictures. We get Cars, Happy Feet, Over the Hedge and Superman Returns of 21 of the 22 screens on a typical weekend. My Netflix list is blown up, so I plan on seeing as much as can of the lot that are getting the year end buzz elsewhere before the big night (Academy Awards).

Golden Globes: And the Nominees are...

2006-12-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

Before we look through this list, let me say that this past year for me was more about TV than Film. I've certainly heard of many of the nominated films, but I have not seen many at all. But when has that stopped me from offering an opinion?

Movie Nominations

Picture, Drama: Babel,Bobby,The Departed,Little Children,The Queen

Bobby made the cut? Hmmm....Emillio Estevez is back?

Actress, Drama: Penelope Cruz, Volver ; Judi Dench, Notes on a Scandal ; Maggie Gyllenhaal, Sherrybaby ; Helen Mirren, The Queen ; Kate Winslet, Little Children

Kate Winslet is the new Meryl Streep.

Actor, Drama: Leonardo DiCaprio, Blood Diamond ; Leonardo DiCaprio, The Departed ; Peter O'Toole, Venus ; Will Smith, The Pursuit of Happyness ; Forest Whitaker, The Last King of Scotland

Double Leo nomination? That's lunacy.

Picture, Musical or Comedy: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan,The Devil Wears Prada,Dreamgirls,Little Miss Sunshine,Thank You for Smoking

No Jackass 2? Borat! Very nice!

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Annette Bening, Running With Scissors ; Toni Collette, Little Miss Sunshine ; Beyonce Knowles, Dreamgirls ; Meryl Streep, The Devil Wears Prada ; Renee Zellweger, Miss Potter

Toni Collette is Supporting Actress at best in Little Miss Sunshine. Meryl Streep easily wins this one.

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Sacha Baron Cohen, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan ; Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ; Aaron Eckhart, Thank You for Smoking ; Chiwetel Ejiofor, Kinky Boots ; Will Ferrell, Stranger than Fiction

The only question is will he accept his award in character?

Supporting Actress: Adriana Barraza, Babel ; Cate Blanchett, Notes on a Scandal ; Emily Blunt, The Devil Wears Prada ; Jennifer Hudson, Dreamgirls ; Rinko Kikuchi, Babel

Emily Blunt was snarky and funny as the suffering assistant in Prada, but is she really nominated for a GG? The buzz is about Jennifer Hudson...

Supporting Actor: Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland ; Eddie Murphy, Dreamgirls ; Jack Nicholson, The Departed ; Brad Pitt, Babel ; Mark Wahlberg, The Departed

Lots of big names in there. Is this really supporting actor?

Director: Clint Eastwood, Flags of Our Fathers ; Clint Eastwood, Letters from Iwo Jima ; Steven Frears, The Queen ; Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, Babel ; Martin Scorsese, The Departed

Clint Eastwood with a double nomination!!! What the hell is going on here?

Screenplay: Guillermo Arriaga, Babel ; Todd Field and Tom Perrotta, Little Children ; Patrick Marber, Notes on a Scandal ; William Monahan, The Departed ; Peter Morgan, The Queen

Monahan re-wrote an Asian classic...is that worthy of an award?

Foreign Language: Apocalypto, USA; Letters from Iwo Jima, USA/Japan; The Lives of Others, Germany; Pan's Labyrinth, Mexico; Volver Spain

You knew Mel was gonna slip in here somehow. But it is cool to see two contemporary American stars like Gibson and Eastwood get nods for making a Foreign film.

Animated Film: Cars,Happy Feet,Monster House

This is me not caring.

TV Nominations

Series, Drama: 24, Fox; Big Love, HBO; Grey's Anatomy, ABC; Heroes, NBC; Lost, ABC

Lost is so good, but Heroes is the new kid. Wait, these cats love Kiefer...

Actress, Drama: Patricia Arquette, Medium ; Edie Falco, The Sopranos ; Evangeline Lilly, Lost ; Ellen Pompeo, Grey's Anatomy ; Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer

Evangeline Lilly has been stellar this year, and although I like Grey's Anatomy...I'm over Meredith.

Actor, Drama: Patrick Dempsey, Grey's Anatomy ; Michael C. Hall, Dexter ; Hugh Laurie, House ; Bill Paxton, Big Love ; Kiefer Sutherland, 24

Kiefer dominates this category.

Series, Musical or Comedy: Desperate Housewives, ABC; Entourage, HBO; The Office, NBC; Ugly Betty, ABC; Weeds, Showtime

Office or Entourage? How about a tie this year?

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives ; America Ferrera, Ugly Betty ; Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives ; Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine ; Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds

Seinfeld curse be dammed. Julia is back.

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock ; Zach Braff, Scrubs ; Steve Carrell, The Office ; Jason Lee, My Name is Earl ; Tony Shalhoub, Monk

What's so sad about this is that I think the guys in this category are perhaps my favorites on TV right now. And yet, I'll be devastated when that retard Monk wins for like the 10th year in a row.

Miniseries or movie: Bleak House, PBS; Broken Trail, AMC; Elizabeth I, HBO; Mrs. Harris, HBO; Prime Suspect: The Final Act, PBS

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Gillian Anderson, Bleak House ; Annette Bening, Mrs. Harris ; Helen Mirren, Elizabeth I ; Helen Mirren, Prime Suspect: The Final Act ; Sophie Okonedo, Tsunami, The Aftermath

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Andre Braugher, Thief ; Robert Duvall, Broken Trail ; Michael Ealy, Sleeper Cell: American Terror ; Chiwetel Ejiofor, Tsunami, The Aftermath ; Ben Kingsley, Mrs. Harris ; Bill Nighy, Gideon's Daughter ; Matthew Perry, The Ron Clark Story

Supporting Actress, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Emily Blunt, Gideon's Daughter ; Toni Collette, Tsunami, The Aftermath ; Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy ; Sarah Paulson, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip ; Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds

Izzy has had a rough year...

Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or Movie: Thomas Haden Church, Broken Trail ; Jeremy Irons, Elizabeth I ; Justin Kirk, Weeds ; Masi Oka, Heroes ; Jeremy Piven, Entourage

I'm so about the Piven, but Hiro Nakamura is my main man right now. Go Masi!!!

The Grammys

2006-12-08T08:13:00.000-08:00

For the past ten years I've been slipping further and further off the map of what is good music according to the prestigious Grammy awards. Now with the most recent batch of nominees being announced yesterday I can see that I am completely shut out from what is mainstream. I think the Grammys shoud change their name to the Worst in Music awards. What do you think?

Even though I'm less than impressed I still took the time to handicap the race a little. My predictions are in bold.

Nominations

Album

•Dixie Chicks; Taking The Long Way
•Gnarls Barkley; St. Elsewhere
•John Mayer; Continuum
•Red Hot Chili Peppers; Stadium Arcadium
•Justin Timberlake; Future Sex/LoveSounds

Record

•Mary J. Blige; Be Without You
•James Blunt; You're Beautiful
•Dixie Chicks; Not Ready to Make Nice
•Gnarls Barkley; Crazy
•Corinne Bailey Rae; Put Your Records On.

Song of the Year/Writers

•Be Without You; (performed by Mary J. Blige)
•Jesus, Take the Wheel; (Carrie Underwood)
•Not Read to Make Nice; (Dixie Chicks)
•Put Your Records On; (Corinne Bailey Rae)
•You're Beautiful; (James Blunt)

New artist

•James Blunt
•Chris Brown
•Imogen Heap
•Corinne Bailey Rae
•Carrie Underwood

Pop album

•Christina Aguilera; Back to Basics
•James Blunt; Back to Bedlam
•Elvis Costello & Allen Toussaint; The River in Reverse
•John Mayer; Continuum
•Justin Timberlake; FutureSex/LoveSounds

Rock album

•John Mayer Trio; Try!
•Tom Petty; Highway Companion
•The Raconteurs; Broken Boy Soldiers
•Red Hot Chili Peppers; Stadium Arcadium
•Neil Young; Living With War.

Contemporary R&B album

•Mary J. Blige; The Breakthrough
•Jamie Foxx; Unpredictable
•India.Arie; Testimony: Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
•Prince; 3121
•Lionel Ritchie; Coming Home

Rap album

•Lupe Fiasco; Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor
•Ludacris; Release Therapy
•Pharrell; In My Mind
•The Roots; Game Theory
•T.I.; King

Country album

•The Dixie Chicks; Taking The Long Way
•Alan Jackson; Like Red on A Rose
•Little Big Town; The Road to Here
•Willie Nelson; You Don't Know Me: The Songs of Cindy Walker
•Josh Turner; Your Man

Alternative album

•Arctic Monkeys; Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
•Flaming Lips; At War With the Mystics
•Gnarls Barkley; St. Elsewhere
•Yeah Yeah Yeahs; Show Your Bones
•Thom Yorke; The Eraser

2006-12-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

This one's for Joolie.

The old school...

2006-12-07T07:03:00.001-08:00

So, since I finally have the chance to get off my ass and post something here, I decided to write about a something personal for me. Wrecking Crew, by John Albert, hits on the Los Angeles that I grew up in. It's the story, as told only by someone who actually lived it, about a group of guys who find redemption playing baseball.

However, these guys are'nt your usual 30 somethings playing on weekends tyring to relive past glories. These are the guys that I grew up looking up to. Punks, junkies, cross dressers, losers, failed actors. The stories are the stories of pretty much everyone that I knew, when I was a kid, sneaking out of my parents house to see Bad Religion at the Sportsmans Hall, for the fist time. The guys who used to call the Godzillas and the Cathey de Grand theirs. These were the people that I looked up to.

It's the L.A. that they don't talk about on E. It's the L.A. that I still feel in my heart, from time to time. The author did a terrific job of capturing not only the true nature of the charecters that make up this story, but of the feeling that everyone who has ever been branded a loser, fuck up, or just never fit in, gets when for just once, they get to taste winning, even if just for a moment.

The books been out for a while now, so if you have'nt got a hold of it yet, do so.

The Return of My Nano Pod

2006-12-06T17:12:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my Dad, the above item is now a permanent fixture in my living room. Early Christmas presents rule! I am so happy to be able to fall in love with my Nano Pod all over again. And the sound on this puppy is amazing!

Now Playing: Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson

Date with Destiny?

2006-12-06T17:06:00.000-08:00

February 17th @ 3 PM Joolie, my girlfriend Amy and I will be testing our knowledge of pop culture in front of a panel of producers in sunny Orlando, FL. That's right, we got word today that our applications for the World Series of Pop Culture were accepted and we were given our date with destiny.

In case you are wondering, they give all 3 teammates a written test which lasts about 30-45 minutes depending on how quickly you can get through it and then score them quickly. If all 3 teammates pass (I guess they have a bar they set to weed out the frauds) then we get a group interview that is videotaped. And finally, if we score high enough on our tests and interview well...we get a call later that evening to attend the 8 team throw down the next day. I'm confident we will make the cut and compete on Sunday. And then we'll have to see how it goes.

TV Land's Top 100 TV Catchphrases

2006-12-03T16:09:00.000-08:00

"Aaay" (Fonzie, "Happy Days")

"And that's the way it is" (Walter Cronkite, "CBS Evening News")

"Ask not what your country can do for you ..." (John F. Kennedy)

"Baby, you're the greatest" (Ralph Kramden, "The Honeymooners")

"Bam!" (Emeril Lagasse, "Emeril Live")

"Book 'em, Danno" (Steve McGarrett, "Hawaii Five-O")

"Come on down!" (Johnny Olson, "The Price is Right")

"Danger, Will Robinson" (Robot, "Lost in Space")

"De plane! De plane!" (Tattoo, "Fantasy Island")

"Denny Crane" (Denny Crane, "Boston Legal")

"Do you believe in miracles?" (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics)

"D'oh!" (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons")

"Don't make me angry ..." (David Banner, "The Incredible Hulk")

"Dyn-o-mite" (J.J., "Good Times")

"Elizabeth, I'm coming!" (Fred Sanford, "Sanford and Son")

"Gee, Mrs. Cleaver ..." (Eddie Haskell, "Leave it to Beaver")

"God'll get you for that" (Maude, "Maude")

"Good grief" (Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" specials)

"Good night, and good luck" (Edward R. Murrow, "See It Now")

"Good night, John Boy" ("The Waltons")

"Have you no sense of decency?" (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)

"Heh heh" (Beavis and Butt-head, "Beavis and Butthead")

"Here it is, your moment of Zen" ("The Daily Show")

"Here's Johnny!" (Ed McMahon, "The Tonight Show")

"Hey now!" (Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show")

"Hey HEY hey!" (Dwayne Nelson, "What's Happening!!")

"Hey hey HEEY!" (Fat Albert, "Fat Albert")

"Holy ____________, Batman!" (Robin, "Batman")

"Holy crap!" (Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond")

"Homey don't play that!" (Homey the Clown, "In Living Color")

"How sweet it is!" (Jackie Gleason, "The Jackie Gleason Show")

"How you doin'?" (Joey Tribbiani, "Friends")

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" (Alka Seltzer ad)

"I know nothing!" (Sgt. Schultz, "Hogan's Heroes")

"I love it when a plan comes together" (Hannibal, "The A-Team")

"I want my MTV!" (MTV ad)

"I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl ..." (Larry, "Newhart")

"I'm not a crook ..." (Richard Nixon)

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" (Vicks Formula 44 ad)

"I'm Rick James, bitch!" (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, "Chappelle's Show")

"Is that your final answer?" (Regis Philbin, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")

"It keeps going and going and going ..." (Energizer Batteries ad)

"It takes a licking ..." (Timex ad)

"Jane, you ignorant slut" (Dan Aykroyd to Jane Curtin, "Saturday Night Live")

"Just one more thing ..." (Columbo, "Columbo")

"Let's be careful out there" (Sgt. Esterhaus, "Hill Street Blues")

"Let's get ready to rumble!" (Michael Buffer, various sports events)

"Live long and prosper" (Spock, "Star Trek")

"Makin' whoopie" (Bob Eubanks, "The Newlywed Game")

"Mom always liked you best" (Tommy Smothers, "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour")

"Never assume ..." (Felix Unger, "The Odd Couple")

"Nip it!" (Barney Fife, "The Andy Griffith Show")

"No soup for you!" (The Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld")

"Norm!" ("Cheers")

"Now cut that out!" (Jack Benny, "The Jack Benny Program")

"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" (Stan and Kyle, "South Park")

"Oh, my nose!" (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")

"One small step for man ..." (Neil Armstrong)

"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" (Grey Poupon ad)

"Read my lips: No new taxes!" (George H.W. Bush)

"Resistance is futile" (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation")

"Say good night, Gracie" (George Burns, "The Burns & Allen Show")

"Schwing!" (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, "Saturday Night Live")

"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy" (Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle)

"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" (Trix cereal ad)

"Smile, you're on 'Candid Camera' " ("Candid Camera")

"Sock it to me" ("Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In")

"Space, the final frontier ..." (Capt. Kirk, "Star Trek")

"Stifle!" (Archie Bunker, "All in the Family")

"Suit up!" (Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother")

"Tastes great! Less filling!" (Miller Lite beer ad)

"Tell me what you don't like about yourself" (Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy, "Nip/Tuck")

"That's hot" (Paris Hilton, "The Simple Life")

"The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat" (Jim McKay, "ABC's Wide World of Sports")

"The tribe has spoken" (Jeff Probst, "Survivor")

"The truth is out there" (Fox Mulder, "The X-Files")

"This is the city ..." (Sgt. Joe Friday, "Dragnet")

"Time to make the donuts" ("Dunkin' Donuts" ad)

"Two thumbs up" (Siskel & Ebert, "Siskel & Ebert")

"Up your nose with a rubber hose" (Vinnie Barbarino, "Welcome Back, Kotter")

"We are two wild and crazy guys!" (Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd as Czech playboys, "Saturday Night Live")

"Welcome to the O.C., bitch" (Luke, "The O.C.")

"Well, isn't that special?" (Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, "Saturday Night Live")

"We've got a really big show!" (Ed Sullivan, "The Ed Sullivan Show")

"Whassup?" (Budweiser ad)

"What you see is what you get!" (Geraldine, "The Flip Wilson Show")

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" (Arnold Drummond, "Diff'rent Strokes")

"Where's the beef?" (Wendy's ad)

"Who loves you, baby?" (Kojak, "Kojak")

"Would you believe?" (Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart")

"Yabba dabba do!" (Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones")

"Yada, yada, yada" ("Seinfeld")

"Yeah, that's the ticket" (Jon Lovitz as the pathological liar, "Saturday Night Live")

"You eeeediot!" (Ren, "Ren & Stimpy")

"You look mahvelous!" (Billy Crystal as Fernando, "Saturday Night Live")

"You rang?" (Lurch, "The Addams Family")

"You're fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")

"You've got spunk ..." (Lou Grant, "The Mary Tyler Moore Show")

Anything you think is missing?

Virgin Digital Ad

2006-12-02T08:06:00.000-08:00

So Virgin Digital has this ad campaign that cleverly contains something like 74 band names. For fun, let's see how many we can name. I've put down the ones I see below the picture and you can feel free to use the comments section to chime in. (Thanks Daniel!)

(click on the picture and it will take you to a larger size!)

My finds...
1. Whitesnake
2. The Zombies
3. Smashing Pumpkins
4. Alice in Chains
5. Blur
6. The Eagles
7. King Kong (yeah Jared..)
8. Spoon
9. Cowboy Junkies
10. (sadly) Matchbox 20
11. Pet Shop Boys
12. Scissor Sisters
13. Ratt
14. Phish (?)
15. Red Hot Chili Peppers
16. Cake
17. Black Flagg
18. The Gorillaz

Okay...now you go...

Wordplay

2006-12-02T08:00:00.000-08:00

Calling all nerds. This is a documentary about crossword puzzles, focusing on both the popularity of the New York Times versions compiled by editor Will Shortz and and the build up the to the 2005 Crossword Puzzle Championships in Stamford, CT. The film luckily focuses only half of its attention on the dorks who compete, and trust me these are some really dorky people, and the other half on celebs who enjoy the puzzles like Jon Stewart, Bill Clinton and Yankees pitcher Mike Mussina. I found the creation of the puzzle to be the most fascinating element explored.

Donkey Show Documentary

2006-11-30T16:47:00.000-08:00

Sundance has chosen to screen a documentary of a Seattle man who dies after having sex with a horse. I am so adding this to my Netflix queue.

Quilty Pleasure Alert

2006-11-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

The new "Fergalicious" song is f'n rad. Did Spinderella drop this shit?

Blechhhh....

2006-11-29T17:58:00.000-08:00

Britney's nasty.

You Need Vitamins

2006-11-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

Vitaminsforyou (Bryce Kushnier) layers electronic beats, soft vocals, ambience, bells, strings, and various instrumentation to create beautiful and intoxicating music. The result sounds reminiscent of The Postal Service, The Notwist, and perhaps even fellow Canadians Broken Social Scene. His latest full-length release, The Legend of Bird's Hill, features complex but well-crafted melodies and heartfelt lyrics. It's the sort of album that dances on in your head after you've stopped listening. Be sure to give the song The Ukranians a good listen.

Kerrang! Magazine Releases Top 50 Punk Albums Of All Time

2006-11-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

1. Sex Pistols - Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols (1977)
2. Green Day - Dookie (1994)
3. Dead Kennedys - Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables (1980)
4. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991)
5. The Offspring - Smash (1994)
6. Rancid - ...And Out Come the Wolves (1995)
7. Discharge - Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing (1982)
8. The Clash - The Clash (1977)
9. The Damned - Machine Gun Etiquette (1979)
10. Ramones - Ramones (1976)
11. NOFX - Punk in Drublic (1994)
12. Fugazi - Repeater (1990)
13. The Clash - London Calling (1979)
14. Blink-182 - Enema of the State (1999)
15. The Stooges - Fun House (1970)
16. Black Flag - Damaged (1981)
17. Minor Threat - Complete Discography (1989) [Compilation]
18. The Stooges - Raw Power (1973)
19. The Undertones - The Undertones (1979)
20. The Offspring - Americana (1998)
21. Bad Brains - Rock for Light (1983)
22. Buzzcocks - Love Bites (1978)
23. NOFX - So Long and Thanks for All the Shoes (1997)
24. The Ruts - The Crack (1979)
25. Crass - Feeding of the 5000 (1978)
26. The Vandals - Hitler Bad, Vandals Good (1998)
27. Operation Ivy - Energy (1989)
28. Refused - The Shape of Punk To Come (1998)
29. Rocket From the Crypt - Scream Dracula, Scream! (1995)
30. The Exploited - Punks Not Dead (1981)
31. Cro-Mags - Age of Quarrel (1986)
32. Quicksand - Manic Compression (1995)
33. The Descendents - Milo Goes to College (1982)
34. Sublime - Sublime (1996)
35. The Misfits - Static Age [1978] (1997)
36. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Let's Face It (1997)
37. Bad Religion - Suffer (1988)
38. Less Than Jake - Hello Rockview (1998)
39. Dwarves - Are Young and Good Looking (1997)
40. Supersuckers - The Evil Powers of Rock 'N' Roll (1999)
41. Social Distortion - White Light White Heat White Trash (1996)
42. The Get Up Kids - Something to Write Home About (1999)
43. Green Day - Nimrod (1997)
44. Will Have - El Diablo (1997)
45. Stiff Little Fingers - Inflammable Material (1979)
46. Napalm Death - Scum (1987)
47. A.F.I. - Black Sails in the Sunset (1999)
48. Poison Idea - Feel the Darkness (1990)
49. G.B.H. - Leather, Bristles, Studs and Acne (1981) [EP]
50. Killing Joke - Killing Joke (1980)

This has to be one of the most amatuer compilings of Punk Rock related releases ever put on one page. At least eleven of these "punk" bands arent even considered to be in the punk genre. You can find 90% of these bands on the t-shirt wall at Hot Topic. Then there is the order. Sex Pistols first? Green Day second? Holy Shit-tits, this is ludicrous.

Lagwagon or Bad Astronaut?

2006-11-29T10:52:00.000-08:00

The death of legendary punk rock drummer Derrick Plourde (Lagwagon, Mad Caddies, The Ataries, Bad Astronaut, Rich Kids on LSD) in 2005 brought significant change to the music of both Lagwagon and vocalist Joey Cape’s side project Bad Astronaut. Cape, significantly affected by his long time friend’s suicide, has set a somber tone to a recent Lagwagon release (Resolve) and now continues that trend with Twelve Small Steps, One Giant Disappointment, the latest release from Bad Astronaut. The feelings in the two records are so similar it could be constituted as the same band. Normally, this would be construed as bad thing, but for fans of Lagwagon and Bad Astronaut this is enormous as Joey Cape has hit on an incredible rise in musical and lyrical maturity. Like Resolve, the album is comprised of songs written to and for Derrick. Sadly (but great for listeners), tragedy often breeds quality music. This record is no exception. This release is spun in feelings of loss and resolve. This album is irrefutably worth your time.

Lions in the Street

2006-11-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

Everyone must check out Lions in the Street. And then promptly roll a joint and buy a pair of bellbottoms. And time warp away.

Defend your IPod

2006-11-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

Apple recently posted Kevin Smith's Celebrity ITunes Playlist, but horribly misrepresented it by editing his amazing commentary on his beloved songs. Go here for the unadulterated version.

Two Albums That Will Make You Say "Fuck Yeah!"

2006-11-28T18:32:00.000-08:00

1. Sparta - Threes

In 2001, at the peak of their popularity and following a world tour, At the Drive-In broke up, initially referring to the split as an "indefinite hiatus." Following the break-up of ATDI two bands were formed, Sparta and The Mars Volta. Sparta's first full length, Wiretap Scars, was released in 2002 and the album was innovative and explosive. An album that forces you to sing along. They returned in 2004 with Porcelain, which attempted an aggresive and unique indie sound. After a guitarist change in 2006, the highly anticipated Threes is here and it creates the damn trifecta. From start to finish the album is fucking electric. Sparta has perfected the fusion of progressive guitar, poppy indie beats, and smart emotional lyrics that seperates it entirely from the first two releases. Vocalist Jim Ward takes the best of Chris Martin(of Coldplay) and Kele Okereke(of Bloc Party) while keeping his sound unique. Simply put, this shit is nice.

2. Tim Barry - Rivanna Junction

Like Sparta, Tim Barry is a descendent from another brilliant scene defying band, Avail. Avail remains together but vocalist Tim Barry has released his second solo project, Rivanna Junction. Tim's music takes a break from Avail's trademark dixiecore sound, and instead offers a rich combination of folk, bluegrass, rock and a little punk attitude which can easily draw comparisons to the music of Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings and even Woodie Guthrie. To me, music is all about the lyrics. A song is nothing to me when the lyrics are merely something to accentuate the music. When your standing behind nothing but an accoustic guitar your shit better be tight. The words on this album are sincere and ruthless. They are the kind that make you smile without thinking about it. Tim Barry is a dixie poet that comes off as nothing but honest. I highly reccomend this album.

An Inconvenient Truth

2006-11-27T20:28:00.000-08:00

This film should be required viewing for all 8th grade students of the world. And probably all politicians, regardless of partisanship, currently sitting up on Capitol Hill. Al Gore shrugged off the robbery of the presidency 6 years ago and delivers his slide show all over the world trying to persuade mankind to make global warming "a moral issue."

For 90 minutes Gore very calmly and entertainingly explains the many environmental issues plaguing our planet. Shedding some much needed light on the facts, Gore is doing his best to inspire people to give a shit about the planet. I found the information to be brutal and honest, a bit of a wake up call, and it made me wonder why our government can't seem to work together to solve problems.

I was a guy who voted for Gore. And as soon as 9/11 hit, I was kind of happy he wasn't at the helm of our nation. Why? Because he is better suited to issues like the environment as this film shows, and I wasn't sure he would act at all to terrorist threats. Now of course Bush has fucked this up entirely, focusing on WMDs and Iraqi leaders instead of getting old Osama, so I guess he wasn't the right guy in the hot seat either. But my point has nothing to do with terrorism, it has to do with wondering why our politicos can't be the bigger man from time to time and just do the right thing. Bush stole the presidency away from Gore, but he could have smoothed over that nonsense by giving Gore a big role in working to improve our environmental issues. Everybody wins. I guess I have perfect world syndrome sometimes.

In any case, you should really spend the time to learn a little about what we as a nation are doing to lead the pack in destroying good old planet Earth. It's quite sad to think that if we do nothing, like we have been for the last 40 years, we might be looking at tragedy 100 times bigger than Katrina in my lifetime. And trust me, that's not just liberal jiggerish...it's fact.

What a Shocker

2006-11-27T14:40:00.000-08:00

Kid Rock and Pammy are divorcing, and their marriage lasted longer than I actually thought it would. Apparently they raced to get their papers in before the other, Kid Rock winning by 53 minutes. I could say something about Pammy's boobs slowing her down but they've pretty much become their own cliche.

Real World Denver

2006-11-25T07:32:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year again. 7 drunks picked to live in a house and have themselves taped acting like retards. This time we're in Denver, CO. I don't what it is, but ever since Las Vegas the show has just become about drinking and awkward sexual relations. And that's it.

This new season ups the anty by having a first night hook up between Colie and Alex. Scandalous!

"It just feels right to me." - Colie

And this is after cheerleader Jenn forces her tongue down the southern belle Brooke's mouth in the hot tub while Tyrie anxiously looks on hoping to get some residual action.

"There's nothing wrong with experimentation." - Brooke

Brooke couldn't stop being openly upset that there won't be a gay guy this season because Gay Peolpe Are Fun. I guess her gaydar is broken, because Davis is right in the same house and has the best complextion of everyone there. Figure it out bitches. In Brooke's defense, Davis isn't bragging about his love for penis, mainly because he's a repressed homosexual having grown up Christian and all. Or maybe he's hiding it from his roommate, the extreme Baptist Stephen.

"He's like real, real religious." - Davis

I guess these two won't be snuggle bunnies. Ha. Although they did have a tender drunk man hug, so you never know.

"I want lips on my ass!" - Jenn

Jenn is the skank of the house. Kissing anyone she wants and always driving everyone to be naked. Her lame three way kiss with Colie and Alex is skeezy. But wait...apparently it gets worse. But I don't want to ruin the surprise. You have to see it to believe it.

Like I said. Real World has no social signifigance anymore. It's all drunk sex. For our viewing pleasure. Pedro is rolling over in his grave!

P.S. This cast is the worst set of dancers to ever set foot on a dance floor. Maybe in the future they will ask potential cast mates to take a dance test. It's just that sad.

Lambda Lambda LMFAO

2006-11-24T14:41:00.000-08:00

Thank God they've pulled the plug on the Revenge of the Nerds Remake. I was more than worried about this one, especially since Kristin Cavallari was cast in it. I wish I could send a letter to Hollywood requesting that they stop remaking movies. Are you really out of ideas? Why don't you just start making reality movies? It's going to happen some time, isn't it? Just stop trying to recreate amazing comedies like Revenge of the Nerds. It's just blasphemous.

Foo Fighters - Skin and Bones

2006-11-24T04:55:00.000-08:00

Even back when Nirvana was around, you know Kurt pre-death and all, I only really liked them for their drummer. Something about the sound of the drums on Nevermind made me like Dave Grohl immensely. And then when the Unplugged concert came out and Dave was doing back up vocals for Kurt, I was like...hmm...I like his voice. Now that Foo Fighters have had a more sustaining career than Nirvana, I think people will finally come over to my way of thinking. Dave Grohl is a better singer and songwriter than Kurt Cobain. Seriously.

And the band has always been able to do it both ways. The Foo rock plugged or unplugged, it's just that simple. Skin and Bones just came out, no doubt a way to cash in for the holidays, and it is gorgeous. Live, acoustic versions of all the band's greatest songs. Stand outs include the opening track Razor and Best of You. If you like the Fighters even a smidge, you won't be disappointed.

Spin This!

2006-11-19T17:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, so since I baited a couple folks into getting me some new cds for my birthday, I think I owe you at least a few words about my thoughts on them.

Sean Lennon - Friendly Fire

If you have to go with one word to sum this up, I think pretty about covers it. Most of the tracks are melodic, somber and above all else enjoyable to the ears. And I was worried, especially since a) I'm not a huge fan of Sean's voice (slightly whiney) and b) this kid has such an overwhelming shadow to try and get out of. It seems like Lennon put a lot of time and effort into production of this record and it shows. Lots of orchestration, the accompanying DVD with videos for each track on the disc, you can't help but think that Sean is going for broke on this one. If it sucked, maybe he'd call it day with making music and move on to something else. But it doesn't.

John Legend - Once Again

I can't figure this guy out. He's two-thirds throwback to Motown and one-third contemporary R&B, if such a genre even exists anymore. Since I'm funny and all, I think of him as a black Burt Bacharach. Think about it. Burt played the piano, Legend does. Burt wrote a ton of material for Dionne Warwick, and Legend could easily do the same if he wasn't such a capable singer in his own right. I can honestly say that no other Urban Soul, R&B, or whatever you want to call it, artist even remotely interests me in the least. But much like when I heard his Ordinary People a couple years ago, Save Room the first single off Once Again just hit me and made me want to get in touch with my soulful side.

So overall, I'd say home run for both cds.

2007 World Series of Pop Culture

2006-11-18T13:05:00.000-08:00

Regional Qualifiers begin in January according to my latest edition of Entertainment Weekly. I think team Poison Scooter has no choice but to attend the February 16-18 event in Orlando, FL and try our luck.

Bring it.

Tenacious D

2006-11-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

Flashback: A few years back I was uber obsessed with Mr. Jack Black and Mr. Kyle Gass. Collectively these guys are Tenacious D, the greatest rock band of all time. Jack blew up in High Fidelity, the guy from Mr. Show was finally and deservedly so becoming a major talent in Hollywood. This new found success allowed Jack to realize the dream of putting out a D album and I was more than eager to grab a copy and laugh my ass off.

I recall going to see the D live in Philly at the Electric Factory and being entertained immensely at how well Jack and Kyle committed to their music, of course they were funny, but I thought they were very talented musically as well. I saw them again as an opening act for an all day festival show and later managed to run in to Kyle Gass in the crowd and took the time to share with him my happiness with their performance. It was a thrill, mainly because Kyle was such a normal guy, like one of your Dad's friends.

So why on earth am I just not certain that the Pick of Destiny will be any good? Entertainment Weekly just reviewed the soundtrack and gave it a hearty B grade...but yet I still don't think I want to buy it. I'm not sure I even want to hear any of it actually. Did the moment pass for these guys? I saw the trailer a couple months ago for the Pick of Destiny and remember feeling slighty embarassed for them instead of excited that a movie was finally here after years of speculation. It was like those horrible SNL movies based on a recurring character...Stuart Smalley...oh he's funny...oh wait...is this for real?...oh my god this looks bad...please, please make it stop. And you know what? It sucks. Hero worship is how I would describe what I had for Jack Black. This was pre-King Kong, a choice that I still question. Why Jack? Why?

Thankfully, I saw the trailer for The Holiday and besides featuring my favorite actress, Kate Winslett and the beautiful Cameron Diaz, the movie looks like it's restoring Jack's shine a bit. So perhaps all is not lost.

Priest! Priest! Priest!

2006-11-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

The gods have answered my endless prayers. Heavy Metal Parking Lot is finally out on DVD! If you haven't seen this legend documentary featuring tailgating Judas Priest lovers, you are missing out. There is more spandex in this movie than every Jane Fonda video combined. And did I mention the hair....oh the hair. It's glorious.

I Want That!

2006-11-13T13:39:00.000-08:00

Lest you think me greedy, I figure other people might see these items as potential gift giving ideas for people other than me. But let the record show...I think these items would suit me just fine as well. This is a hot retro table top stereo speaker system with a dock for any IPod. It even comes with a matching skin for your player if you are anal about crap like that. I've been underusing my Nano Pod of late because I don't have anything to connect to it except my headphones. I think this would help me listen to music more than I do these days. And you can hunt this down for $65.00 (Speck Products is the manufacturer and selling it for $150) if you look hard enough.
So much for his retirement. Jay Z is back and Kingdom Come is what the critics are calling a masterpiece. I've never been one for rap, but Jay Z's work with Linkin Park was very likable to me. And on this bad boy he's working with the likes of Chris Martin from Coldplay. Nice...
I listened to Ordinary People once a day for about 4 months straight. R&B has gone a little too street over the last decade and John Legend brings it back a little. Simple, pure, soul.
I heard about this book on the Howard Stern show. Stand up comics telling their best road story. How could this not be at the very least a funny read?

Stranger Than Fiction

2006-11-13T05:48:00.000-08:00

The word I would use to describe the new "Will Ferrell" movie would be charming. Bet you can't imagine that word being used for many of his other movies, eh? But in this case, it's the best word to use. Time magazine's review referred to Stranger Than Fiction as Adaptation lite and others have compared it to The Truman Show, and although I see the comparisons, for me the movie is better than the latter but not as good as the former. It's very middle of the road and charming.

The script, although involved and extremely well thought out, doesn't confuse you and allows you to reflect on the nature of what is unfolding. A man (Ferrell) realizes that he is a character in a book and that at some point he will die since it appears he is in a tragedy. And so the "live each day like it's your last" theme takes over center stage and is very understated which I liked.

Will Ferrell is very capable like many comedic actors who have branched out before him by doing dramatic roles. Is it safe to say at this point that it is harder to be a successful comedy actor? Tom Hanks? Robin Williams? Jim Carrey? All have done exceptional work in this vein, and so I'm saying Will was okay not extraordinary. But Dustin Hoffman, well he's done his best work in a couple years with his literature theorist Jules Hilbert, and Maggie Gylennhal is effortless in her quirky role as Ferrell's love interest. One of my apprehensions going in was that Maggie and Will are an odd coupling, but I thought it was smart to not make it seem so in the film. If they don't draw attention to it, the romance seems more real and after all don't you see odd couplings all the time in real life?

This movie won't change your life, but it's an enjoyable way to spend two hours on a raining afternoon.