Saturday, August 19, 2006

Fall Reality TV Preview

Although typical TV formatting has gone wonky the last 10 years or so, the fall is the official beginning of the new season for most network television shows. Most of the majors, ABC, NBC, CBS, etc., in the past have carted out their junk reality programs (see Rock Star, America's Got Talent, Last Comic Standing) in the summer to keep viewers occupied rather than play re-runs of comedies and dramas. I guess you should cite the rise in reality show interest by viewers with establishing the summer as it's own TV season these days. Re-runs of a reality show are worthless, so why not just bring forth a new reality show instead for the viewing public? Reality TV is cheap (to make)and interesting (to some), so why the hell not? Anyway...

Here's a peak at what's on tap for this fall in the world of Reality TV with witty commentary by yours truly.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) - 9/12
Some of the celebrities this time around include Tucker Carlson (MSNBC douche), Willa Ford (the blonde bombshell role ala Stacy Keibler), Vivica A. Fox, Harry Hamlin (husband to new co-host and recent competitor Lisa Rinna), Joey Lawrence (Whoa!), Mario Lopez (AC Slater), Emmitt Smith (Dallas Cowboys RB) and filling the George Hamilton/John Hurley role is Jerry Springer.

I've only casually watched this program, since I'm not fascinated much by ballroom dancing, but I can admit that I get a nice chuckle seeing some of these celebrities shaking their groove thing from time to time. And who doesn't want to see a smackdown between Joey Lawrence and Mario Lopez?

America's Top Model (CW) - 9/20
Tyra is back with Twiggy and the gang to evaluate some ham and eggers who want to be models despite the fact that all the news is that the writing staff of the show has been on strike for the better part of three weeks. Writing staff? I'm confused. Rather than try to understand what that means, I will focus on something completely different. How can this show be in it's 7th cycle? From what I recall, basically the first winner has become a reality TV whore going so far as to marry Peter Brady for attention, the chicks since then have gone on to what exactly? Have any of the prior 6 winners actually become our Top Model? I think I saw Yoanna hosting Dress for Less on Style Network. Case closed.

Biggest Loser (NBC) - 9/20
Boosting 50 contestants this season in it's emotionally driven promos, the reality is that very quickly the show will scale down to 14 contestants going for the money on the show with the other 36 competing from home. There is a new female trainer this year, ball buster Jillian has moved on, but the annoying (and might I add chunky) Caroline Rea is back as host. This show is completely engrossing to me not only as a husky fellow, but as a fan of reality TV that isn't just an excuse to have strangers bang each other while drunk. Seeing people change their lives and shrink over the course of mere months is gripping television, and with the added drama this year of having people try to drop the pounds from home, I am sold.

Survivor Cook Islands (CBS) - 9/14
The Jeff Probst hosted most watched reality game show is back for it's 13th season and will once again feature the Exile Island concept first launched last Spring. If you don't watch Survivor, then I can't help you. It's possibly the most engrossing reality show I've ever laid eyes on, with the Amazing Race coming in a close second place for me. People starve themselves, compete in intense physical challenges, mentally mess with each other on a deserted island to try and win a million bucks. How will we ever lose interest in this show?

Amazing Race (CBS) - 9/17
Coming off the best season ever, with the most genuine and fun to watch winning team ever in the Hippies, the Amazing Race will continue to draw tons of viewers all who will then talk about how cool it would be to do the race. Some will even go so far as to consider possible teammates from among the important people in their lives. Now that's a show that gets people amped! CBS has two slam dunks in the reality world with Amazing Race and Survivor, helping it keep it's strangle hold on the other networks as the most viewed channel out there.

Nanny 911 & Trading Spouses - (FOX)
I guess the good news is that FOX is bringing back this crap instead of launching new debauchery this year. From the network that spawned the most reliable reality show in history, COPS, we have had The Swan, Joe Millionaire, My Big Fat Annoying Fiance, and on and on. Nanny 911 and Trading Spouses are no better or worse than what FOX has forced me to watch, so when there is nothing else on...maybe, maybe I'll tune in.

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