Monday, July 24, 2006

You, Me and Dupree

Dear Owen Wilson,

My favorite film of all time happens to be Bottle Rocket, made when you were an unknown with your brothers and a good friend named Wes. No one could have been happier when you started to achieve success in the film world, although your resume doesn't quite support the true weight of your talents. Wedding Crashers was delightful, and a total surprise last summer...thanks in great part to your pairing with Vince Vaughn. But we need to discuss a very important financial matter, one that I hope will easily get cleared up and repair our relationship.

Simply put, you owe me $11. Please take note that I did think about just going after the cost of the ticket price on your latest film You, Me and Dupree, but the ending line "hit it Paco" forced me into wanting to recoup my Coca Cola slushy's costs as well. I'm embarrassed for you as an actor, and as a film goer I'm embarrassed for myself. What if people saw me coming out of the theater when it was over? Did you ever think about that Owen?

I can only hope that three things will happen as a result of this letter.

1. I get my money back.
2. You realize the importance of a script when making another film.
3. Matt Dillon recognizes that his talents are better served in dramas, no matter how small the role or the paycheck.

Please respond to this request as quickly as you can. I'm afraid that with more time to reflect on this situation, I may have to rethink my decision to name you my favorite Wilson brother.

Sincerely,
Scooter

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home