Monday, July 31, 2006

Our Very Own Joolie Meets Rancid!

And even better than meeting Tim and Lars, she got engaged between songs on stage!

Check out this photograph of Joolie bugging out with Lars laughing in the background. Priceless.

Joolie and Lars
photo by Khaki Bedford

Mixed Bag

Anyone else hooked on Intervention on A&E? Is that wrong to use the word hooked to describe my feelings for this show that deals with addition? The format of this show is simple, find an addict, follow him/her around as they use and then turn the tables on them with a family intervention. I find it fascinating that this show gets such access to the life of an addict. And the usual ending shows the power of rehab, most profiled addicts turn themselves around giving you a happy ending.

Decades Live on VH1 Classics featured Elvis Costello being joined by Billie Joe Armstrong, Fiona Apple and Death Cab for Cutie live in Atlantic City performing his interpretations of their songs and vice versa. Fiona does a very creepy version of I Want You that I thought was amazing. And Elvis really tears up I Will Follow You Into the Dark with Ben Gibbard.

Happy Birthday to MTV! Tomorrow the channel turns 25 years old. Jeez, I'm old. I vividly recall the launch of the music video age in 1981 when I was 9 years old, but it wasn't until 1986 when 120 Minutes was launched did I truly appreciate how MTV brought music to the kids. So much of my record collection would not be there if I didn't see it on 120 Minutes, They Might Be Giants, The Replacements, REM, The Cure, XTC and The Smiths would be insignificant band names to me instead of being artist I respect and admire.

New Feature: Song of the Week
Now Playing: Ben Kweller - Penny On A Train Track

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Big Brother Steamroller

BB6 wins HOH again. Unreal. Janelle bested her BFF in the house Marcellas to win her second stint as Head of Household this season and secures the safety of Kaysar, Howie and James for another week minimum. As these BB Sixer's eliminate opponents each week, it's more and more likely they will continue to rule the roost and call the shots.

This past week had a tiny bit of excitement when Chicken George came back from the dead and vetoed himself off the block Tuesday. The oldest, and probably worst player, was being used as a pawn by James to make other floaters take sides and George stepped up by taking out Jase, Kaysar, Will, Boogie and James in the veto competition. George shaved his head and agreed to eat slop for the remainder of the game in order to win and effectively seal Jase's fate this week. Jase was punished for playing sides and got himself into a situation where BB6, the power team, couldn't trust him any longer and the entire house voted him out this week despite Dr. Will's pleas to be evicted.

At the end of tonight's show, Dr. Will begged to be not only put up for nomination again, but to be sent home. The rumor is that Dr. Will and several other cast mates want to avoid being sequestered for several weeks outside the house should they make the jury, so they are asking to be ousted now that they see it's a BB6 runaway. They win every thing and will have the most votes on the jury should one make the final two and the other 3 make the jury. Should be interesting...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Rock Star Supernova

Gilby Clarke is homosexual. I don't say this with any sort of judgement, I'm merely pointing out a fact. Berating a female singer for grinding on him is perhaps that most pathetic situation that has appeared on this montrosity. The poor gal, Jill, was nearly in tears after watching back the footage from last night on tonight's kick off show. Was she crying because she regretted the choice to grinding a gay guy or was she just sad she was called out for using her sexuality instead of actually singing?

Sidenote: I'm writing this while the poor foreign chick, the one with with questionable wardrobe selections who I think is Cuban, is butchering K's Choice and I'm stunned that someone who cannot sing in English is a finalist for this sham band.

So Patrice was first up in the bottom three this week. And I think she got a bum deal considering her song selection was Black Crowe's Remedy. That song sucks so bad I can't imagine anyone on the show being able to breathe life into it. Thankfully she chose a pretty heavy Radiohead track, My Iron Lung, so she regained some credibility and showed some balls tonight.

Next up was our little friend, who as mentioned warbled incoherently through I'm Not An Addict tonight, and if she doesn't go this week I may consider tuning out for good. She's annoying, not attractive and can't speak English. On second thought maybe she is the juice that Supernova needs to broaden their market internationally?

Phil Ritchie opted on a song that no one knows tonight, a Failure tune and needed badly to erase the memory of his One Headlight Wallflowers cover from last night. Phil is another victim of song choice in my book. One Headlight? How is doing that song grooming him for Supernova exactly?

Speaking of Supernova, did you hear their new single played for the contestants in the mansion last night? Tragic. So much for "a totally new sound" Gilby. The buzz on the net is that the contestants were underwhelmed by the tune. Last week's castoff Jenny is running her mouth everywhere about how terrible the song sounded, the lack of enthusiasm inside the mansion and the rumor that everyone on the show thinks the band is a total sham and won't even play more than once as a unit after the big New Year's Eve gig in Vegas. Pop Will Eat Itself!

Line of the week was uttered by Dave Navarro: "The difference is that I have a job and you are auditioning for one!" Dave must be bitter over Carmen leaving him. He can't be seriously referring to the new band he is in, can he? I think he's referring to this hostingduties on this crap fest. And that's just sad.

This just in: The Cuban Crackhead survives! I'm officially besides myself. WTF? The band questioned Phil's committment? Did I hear that right? You are a fake band!!! Tune in next week to see if I can bring myself to watch this shit again.

Lance Bass

Lance Bass came out of the closet. He's gay. Is this even newsworthy? I think I know a couple other dudes in N'Sync that could follow suit...yeah JC I'm talking to you and Fitzy.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Adventures in Babysitting

Why on earth would any studio feel compelled to remake this classic 80's teen comedy? Elisabeth Shue is irreplacable, and I'm certainly not looking to see Raven Symone from the Cosby Show try her luck at the role. Yep, it's going to be ethnically reversed for the remake, which sounds like a great idea. I'm besides myself that this is even being considered.

Monday, July 24, 2006

You, Me and Dupree

Dear Owen Wilson,

My favorite film of all time happens to be Bottle Rocket, made when you were an unknown with your brothers and a good friend named Wes. No one could have been happier when you started to achieve success in the film world, although your resume doesn't quite support the true weight of your talents. Wedding Crashers was delightful, and a total surprise last summer...thanks in great part to your pairing with Vince Vaughn. But we need to discuss a very important financial matter, one that I hope will easily get cleared up and repair our relationship.

Simply put, you owe me $11. Please take note that I did think about just going after the cost of the ticket price on your latest film You, Me and Dupree, but the ending line "hit it Paco" forced me into wanting to recoup my Coca Cola slushy's costs as well. I'm embarrassed for you as an actor, and as a film goer I'm embarrassed for myself. What if people saw me coming out of the theater when it was over? Did you ever think about that Owen?

I can only hope that three things will happen as a result of this letter.

1. I get my money back.
2. You realize the importance of a script when making another film.
3. Matt Dillon recognizes that his talents are better served in dramas, no matter how small the role or the paycheck.

Please respond to this request as quickly as you can. I'm afraid that with more time to reflect on this situation, I may have to rethink my decision to name you my favorite Wilson brother.


Lady in the Water

Never have a seen such horrible reviews for a movie by what I would consider a real talent of a filmmaker. After viewing Lady in the Water myself, I can only really suspect that critics are pissed off by two things. One, there is a pivotal film critic character played by Bob Balaban who embodies the worst qualities critics tend to have and he gets a severe come uppance after being revealed for a knowitall who doesn't know it all. This probably hit home for a lot of the reviewers and seeped somewhat into their impressions of the film. The second thing that most likely bothered the press was M. Night's abandonment of his trademark "twist" ending for a more standard, albeit fantastical conclusion. But I don't get it. Okay, so he stabs film critics a little. Big deal. And jeez, can't the guy do something else besides the suprise ending without being stamped a failure?

Some may have taken offense to Night's decision to cast himself in a role as a visionary author who will in the future inspire people to bring great change to the world. Is this egomanical on his part? Maybe. Does it bother me? No. I was able to look past the M. Night bullshit surrounding this film, the break up with Disney, the book coming out that details the process of making this film and reveals Night's anger towards his critics. I decided to take the film at face value, treating it like I would the Lord of the Rings or Narnia. It's a modern day fable, a children's tale about sea nymphs, werewolves and giant eagles. And with the exception of some questionable choices within the movie, I tended to like it more than I hated it.

Paul Giamatti is a very capable actor, and most likely brought more to this role than was on the page. As a tortured widower with a stutter, Giamatti embodies the prototypical M. Night "hero" that has appeared throughout his films. And Giamatti is the back bone of the film as the discoverer of the Lady living in the pool and assists her in saving the world without once questioning the why behind it all. Perhaps this is truly what I loved about the film, the reckless abandon in which the story tackles such a fantasy laden script.

I found the story to be very hopeful, especially while the world toils in such despair with war breaking out everywhere there is sand. Night managed to give us a true fairy tale with some ties to reality, but doesn't let his story ever stray into reality long enough for anyone involved to question what is going on. The way I described it to a friend today was that Night created an apartment complex full of people who so desperately want something unbelievable to be real that they never object to the preposterous nature of what is unfolding before them. And that is precisely why I let myself be drawn into this world and overlooked the pressures on the filmmaker and the reviews trashing it. I wanted to forget about things happening in the world for 2 hours and be taken somewhere else, and on that level Lady in the Water worked just fine.

Is it a great movie? Not by a long shot. But it isn't terrible, and I'm convinced that M. Night Shamaylan will still become that rare filmmaker who puts his heart into what he does and always draws me to the theater no matter what he is doing.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Clerks 2

As an impressionable college kid some 12 years ago, my passion for film was taken to a whole new level by a vanguard group of young indie filmmakers who burst on the scene in almost rapid fire succession. Richard Linklater provoked me to think with Slacker, Quentin Tarantino made me appreciate violence as art, Spike Lee brought African American issues to my white world and Kevin Smith made me piss my pants laughing at the raunchiest humor I'd ever seen in a movie.

Clerks was released in 1994, and it completely worked for me on every single level. I loved the soundtrack, the sex talk, the interplay between Tons of Fun Silent Bob and weed smoking/dealing, trenchcoat wearing Jay. But the real joy for me was the relationship between Dante and Randel, two early twenties lazy bums who were shown as witty, thoughtful malcontents dead set on arguing about every nuance of pop culture or sex. The script by Kevin Smith was the real hero in this low budget, amateur acted, black and white movie that could. Smith had an incredible way of giving his characters a mouthful of words that rolled off the tongue like bullets from a machine gun, but never letting you the viewing lose interest before the big zing.

Seeing that Clerks 2 was made finally was a bittersweet revelation to me. On the one hand I've been very invested in Kevin Smith's body of work and wanted another chance to revisit with my old friends from the Quik Stop. On the other hand, my fear of how badly Mr. Smith would fuck it all up scared me to death. After the spectacle that was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which I think is a very funny movie, I was concerned that Smith had lost touch with the heart of his original film and was merely good at writing filthy one liners that poked holes at everything and anything in the entertainment world. Boy am I glad that this new Clerks plays out like the original but in color and with a more familiar looking cast.

The Dante and Randel we remember are exactly the same, Randel is gross and hateful, Dante expressive and confused about matters of the heart. The only difference is that they are puffy, have hair issues and now work at a fast food joint instead of the Quik Stop thanks to a tragic accident put in motion during the brilliantly constructed opening scene. I felt very nostalgic watching these two verbal swordsmiths dust off their abilities and go to town, knowing that both actors never really amounted to much outside of this world and that this was no doubt going to end the journey for them. But I also felt old. Seeing Dante want to marry a chick for the sake of marrying her and Randel not want to conform to an adult lifestyle made me realize that not only have these two not done much growing in 12 years, neither have I.

The movie is perhaps going to mislead folks with it's trailer, it's written, directed and edited by Kevin Smith and has a lot of the same production issues as the original. Odd blocking, poor hair and makeup and the same Jay and Bob laugh out loud diversions all which work to give this movie an air of respectability in my book. The ending is perhaps a little to sugary sweet for me (shades of Jersey Girl Smith), but in the end I realized that I laughed a lot, I got to check in on some old friends and I didn't come out of the theater cursing Smith for ruining the strength of his classic original.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Big Brother Six Forever!!

Is this All Star verison going to be a complete domination by BB6? I sure hope so. God I hate some of the idiots on this show. Why is Chicken George on this show? That old loser was dressed in a costume made of tin foil for tonight's vote off episode. And everyone else just seems to feel sorry for him. My man James from BB6 took the HOH in a nail biter and secured the safety for another week of his old castmates one would assume. Janelle, Kasyar and now James. That's pretty much domination.

Now don't get me wrong, I think it would be incredible television if James decided to turn on his old friends, but it's highly unlikely considering just how much the rest of the house is after them. Nakomis got the boot tonight, which leaves a lot of very crafty players like Will and Boogie still around. However, it's just not enough if they can't win any competitions. If James has a brain in his head he goes right after Chilltown and gets both those clowns on the block.

Is BB All Stars winning me over? I'll say. Especially since the rest of this summer's reality tv selection appears to be 100% inedible ot my pallate.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

StupidNova Recap

Okay, it's time to get into more meat on this tiny, almost meatless bone. Finally, the contestants are beginning to turn on the weak and call out what I have been ranting about for the last couple weeks. What are some of these chicks doing on this show? Namely, my fellow Augustan sweetheart Dana who looks like a cast off from Nashville Star. Dilana, the favorite in my humble opinion, stepped up to give her some "guidance" telling her to get more dirty. Now Dilana was praised for helping along a fellow competitor and when speaking about it tonight on the vote off show came off like she's just a nuturter and that's her way. But I would argue that this very advice will send this cowpoke further down the spiral. Dana is just not cut out for this show and turning it up a notch in the dirty department will make her look even more ill equipped to succeed in becoming a Rock Star.

Dana's corny Bon Jovi cover put her firmly in the running to be voted off. And for her "save me" song she does a Sass Jordan cover. Who? The girl can sing, that's clear. But come on, how far removed is she from Tommy Lee and his band of tards? I would be willing to bet she has no clue who Motley Crue or Metallica are. It's like she got caught up in the "it's a singing show, just like American Idol" and managed to get pushed along in the process for looking so sweet and innocent and having a killer set of pipes. How the hell did she survive?

Jenny, another girl just not cut out for this, thankfully was sent to the bottom three this week and in the process essentially saved Dana from execution. I would point out that she is kind of hot, but is hot enough to win a singing contest? No. Watching her sing Stone Temple Pilots tonight was just painful. The performance seemed to be a mimic of Dilana or Storm and not at all believable. And so she moves on with her life, most likely signing Jewel covers at county fairs. (Sidenote: my ongoing favorite moment each week is when Tommy Lee says "there are no losers here" and I immediatey scream at the TV "look to your right Tommy!! It's Gilby Clarke and Dave Navarro!!")

Josh, the Jason Mraz wannabe, rounded out the bottom this week and followed up ruining one Nirvana song with choosing to sing another one. Lucky for him he sang Heart Shaped Box very straight forwardly and managed to impress the judges and save himself for another week.

Where this show differs for me from last year is that all I can focus on is who is the saddest of the bunch each week. And I'm honestly having a tough time sorting out from like 8 terrible performances who are the worst 3. Last year I was so torn with who was the stongest among 3 or 4 powerful performances each week that I never even cared who was voted into the bottom three unless I disagreed with the call. Maybe, just maybe, once they thin the herd and get rid of the excess waste this show will get interesting. Tonight was a step in that direction...

The One

Okay, so I found a way to enjoy Rock Star Supernova. Just watch this horrendous piece of crap, The One on ABC, which featured performances by probably the 10 worst singers I have ever heard. At one point I thought the show was a joke, a mock American Idol/Real World hybrid because the performances were so off key and stiff by performer after performer. And yet the "judges" kept right on giving some inflated support driving me to say aloud at one point, "is this really happening?"

A recent post on here predicted that Rock Star wouldn't actually finish out the season on the air, and I know that is just a wish and not a reality, but my God this show might actually suffer the fate of getting the axe before it concludes. I cannot imagine anyone viewing what I saw and deciding to tune in a second time. And I'm pissed that I had to make choices in TV Land last night and opted to TIVO this hunk of junk over Last Comic Standing.

I'm going to give my spin on Rock Star after tonight's vote off show, but let me try to sum up how unenthused I am at that program. I've gone on record saying that Galena would win the slot in Tommy Lee's new band and only discovered last night that the chick I'm referring to is actually named Dilana. I can't even remember the performers names this year. Shameful.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Planet Hollywood - WTF?

Sometimes I come across news items that just make me scratch my head. None more so then when dealing with the entertainment world. And so while flipping through the pages of Entertainment Weekly today I came across some items that I just couldn't believe. In fact, one of these items actually made me close the magazine and search the cover for some hint that this issue was filled with bogus stuff just as a prank. Sadly, no such luck.

Mo'Nique's Big Girl pageant is on TV as we speak. I can't imagine many people are watching this, and I can't recall but I'll take a guess it's airing on the WE network or something equally as useless, but maybe a few lay abouts will give this a shot.. The sad reality of life in America is that no one finds fat girls attractive. Not even fat girls do. I'm all about giving some women a self esteem push, but having the annoying Mo'Nique parade these women around under the guise of a beauty contest just seems cruel to me.

Speaking of cruel, Road House 2 is going direct to DVD this week. Huh? Did I read this right? Road House 2? Johnathon Schaech, hot on the heels from his divorce from Christina Applegate, not only preposterously stars as Patrick Swayze's son but co-wrote the script. Pepper in Crazy Jack Busey as the foil and this has the makings of a classic. Classic piece of shit that is. Schaech should have his Hollywood license revoked at this point. In going over his resume his two greatest accomplishments seem to be starring in the very endearing That Thing You Do! 10 years ago and marrying Christina Applegate. Don't believe me? Check out his resume on IMDB. 8MM 2 was actually made by a studio? I'm in shock.

And finally today, Parker Posey has made another movie to further tarnish her indie movie queen status from yesteryear. The Oh in Ohio is apparently centered around a woman who discovers that a vibrator gives you an orgasm if used properly. I love Parker Posey, but how low has she fallen? And if the vibrator aspect of this movie doesn't make you want to vomit, this will. Parker's love interest is Danny Devito in this. All together now....EWWWWWWWWW.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Summer of Duds?

As a life long movie buff, I have looked forward to two very important times of the year for film for the majority of my life. The rush to get films out to make the Oscar eligibility deadline coincides with the end of the calendar year, so you get to see the best of the best from Halloween on. The other time of the year that I normally look forward to is Summer Blockbuster Season.

During Summer Blockbuster Season's of the past I've been anxious every couple of weeks from Memorial Day through Labor Day to hit the theater, sometimes to see 2 opening movies in the same weeekend. I can recall seeing Terminator 2 twice in the same weekend I was that stoked. And what's ailing me right now is that this summer was full of anticipation for me. Superman, Pirates of the Caribean 2, X Men 3, Mission Impossible 3, Nacho Libre and The Davinci Code were all movies that I was juiced to see before summer even began. So what happened? Why is it mid-July and I can't even bring myself to see some of the very movies I was hyped for?

Well, I guess one reason is the disappointment with just how formulaic the movies I have seen this summer have been. Mission Impossible 3 did nothing that 2 and the original didn't do. Same with X Men 3. The Davinci Code just plain bored me when it wasn't confusing the hell out of me. Nacho Libre worked for me, but I will admit didn't live up to the expectation I had for it. (N. Dynamite became part of the culture and Nacho has become drive in movie fare paired with Cars) Once I saw the trailer for Superman was immediately disinterested. Kevin Spacey looks stupid, an unknown as the big guy and an emaciated Kate Bosworth with black hair? No thanks. And now Pirates is hitting the screen to borderline horrible reviews, and although I'm certain it will make some booty, I can't get excited to see a movie hated by many.

My favorite movies of the summer have been movies I had really no real interest in seeing prior to seeing them, The Break Up and The Devil Wears Prada. And right now, there is nothing out that draws my attention. Click? Sandler hasn't shined since the Billy/Happy back to back. Little Man? The Wayans scare me. I guess I need to look down the schedule for the rest of the summer to see if there is any saving me and my summer movie season.

Clerks 2 could prove to be just the funny I'm looking for, or it could be very, very unnecessary. I'm a Kevin Smith fan, so the minute I smell "sell out" on this thing, I'm going be pissed. Little Miss Sunshine, a well received festival circuit comedy with Greg Kinnear and Steve Carell, has hooked me in with a very funny trailer. Lady in the Water by M. Night could be a sleeper hit, afterall the guy did make Sixth Sense and is coming off the bomb The Village.

I wish I could say the next couple weeks hold promise, but the reality is that there is more junk coming out that one could argue is just not necessary. How many animated movies does the world need? Monster House? Uma becomes My Super Ex-Girlfriend, a movie I predict will bomb hard. People don't like female super heros. Miami Vice with Colin Farrell. OMG. What is Michael Mann thinking? I guess it's time to for me to shake off this horrible summer and get pumped for Novemeber/December when the quality comes down the pipeline.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Big Brother All Stars

Oh yeah. The Big Brother 6 crew is back and dominating already in the new Big Brother All Stars filling up your CBS stations 3 days a week for the remainder of the summer. I was a tepid fan of Big Brother when it first launched 7 years ago, but over the last three seasons I've become somewhat of an addict to this put them in a box and watch them kill each other show. And when season 6 was in full swing, I was so in love with the Kasyer, Howie, James and Janelle faction that I'm stoked to see them return. Seeing them easily come back into a house of so-called All Stars and seemingly take over so easily, I'm even more excited.

Last week I watched the inaugural episode this year and Janelle immediately won a co-Head of Household spot and was already in control. And with Howie, James and Kayser in the house from her season and obviously aligned as a group, I was hooked. Janelle went on to gain the Power of Veto, winning the first two challenges this season and tonight her boy Kasyer took home the HOH for the coming week. Janelle is the most solid female contestant this show has ever had, James is the best liar and manipulator, Kasyer is a chess master and Howie, well Howie is just a loon. I can honestly say that I could care less about any other person on this season, so watching these 4 bowl over the competition and send them all packing will keep me happy all summer long.

However, I've been here before. I thought Kasyer would easily win BB6 and then he got booted early. Upon his notorious vote someone back in the house America return to the house, he had a chance to redeem his early departure and got duped, pissing me off more than I care to admit. (This is a reality show afterall, and getting so upset at it makes me kind of a loser.) James wiggled his way from a bad situation, getting exposed when it was revealed he was aligned with his girlfriend after he already made enemies, and then holding on by a thread for a couple of weeks was pretty cool as far as the action is concerned on this show. But ultimately he was sent packing earlier than he rightly should have been. Howie rode Janelle's fiercely competitive coat tails which annoyed me some, but he made up for it by acting like a complete nutcase, verbally coming on to every chick in the house and then turning on them when he was up against a wall.

Janelle dominated BB6 and did it while being, well hot. Fighting off the hags of the Nerd Herd as Howie called them was Must See TV for a couple of weeks. In the end, she ran out of allies and beat herself by not winning a challenge when she had to. And I've never been more disappointed in 6 years of watching Big Brother when it happened. I even said to myself that I was done watching the show. No one has won that I liked since Dr. Will, who is way toned down this All Star season, and at what point does that start to weigh on you as a viewer?

Moving forward I'm cautiously optimistic that my crew will stay in control and rule the roost, but the thing about Big Brother is that the power shifts weekly and the good people are always targets. Especially this year when the four BB6 cast mates have the numbers. So for now I'll just sit back and watch the BB6 kids have some fun, and stare at Janelle.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


I had to add my two cents. I "watched" this while a busily downloaded real music from itunes last night and this thing is a fucking trainwreck. They are all talentless boobs, stars and contestants alike. Navarro makes me more uncomfortable everytime I see him, he is one sceevy SOB. Gilby Clarke (who I will admit did produce one of my favorite albums of the last 5 years "The Bronx") looks like a young Col. Sanders. I thought I had some respect for Jason Newsted jumping ship from the ball-less wonder that Metallica has become but I'm sure that other three are sitting back saying "...and we thought we needed therapy?". Tommy Lee, well what can you expect of the functionally retarded. You go Corky.

Is there any doubt that CBS is saying "what have we done...again"? I'm sure that they are scrambling and this will either finish up on one the CBS/Viacom/Paramount owned cable networks or expect double and triple eliminations in the next few weeks cause ain't nobody gonna let this go for a full run.

Oh and was it too hard for anyone to go on the internet and look up the name Supernova? The SoCal band of the same name (who have been in existance for 10 + years) has just filed suit and they seem to have a strong case. Doesn't hurt that their drummer is a lawyer and apparently had locked up all the appropriate copyright and trademark issues long before this came along.

This thing has the potential to become the stuff of network legend

Rock Star Supernova - Week 2

From bad to worse goes the showcase of potential rockers looking to grace the stage with Tommy Lee, Jason Newsted and Gilby Clarke for what I'm sure will be a very brief and poorly attended concert tour. Last week's elimination round featured 3 dudes, all of which don't fit the mold that this band of ex-metal dudes is looking for. I knew I was in trouble when the guy I liked of the three was the one who wound up getting the boot.

This week's showcase once again proved that Tommy Lee, et al are dopes. They select a pool of songs for all of the candidates to sing, most of which appear to be comtemporary alternative stuff like The Killers, Coldplay, etc. or classics like Jumpin Jack Flash and Born to be Wild; then they wind up berating the shitty candidates for poor song selection. You clowns picked the songs!!! Why not give these kids a chance to sing some Motley Crue or Guns and Roses or Metalicca? Oh, probably because none of these bozos actually wrote any material when they were in those bands.

My only safe bet is that Galena will go far this year. The strongest female, perhaps strongest contestant, Galena manages to bring originalilty and flair to her songs. This week she changed up the classic Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash and made it sound completely new, something that I'm certain was challenging. I'll continue to watch and see how this unfolds, but I'm not having fun people.

Monday, July 10, 2006

The Devil Wears Prada

This movie came at just the right time. Women and gay men around the world have started to miss Sex and the City like a dope fiend misses his fix. We pine for the couture clothing, the lavish wardrobes and the frenzied antics of a young woman trying to establish herself in the Big City. The Devil Wears Prada doesn't let us down. While there are many similarities to this movie and Sex and the City, there are not too many to bore you or make you feel as if you have seen this movie before by watching the hit HBO series.

Anne Hathaway plays an eager and fresh young journalist named Andy who accepts a job at Runway, the top fashion magazine in the country. While she would rather be documenting political rallies and interviewing revolutionaries, she takes the Runway job in order to establish herself in the world of journalism. She feels that if she can survive Miranda Preistly, the Senior Editor of Runway, for one year, she will be able to secure a position at any magazine she chooses. Called "The Dragon Lady," Priestly is notoriously crude and scathing.

Andy is faced with a decision. She must choose her job or her friends and family. In order to retain her position at Runway, she must be on-call at all hours, ready to jump to the assistance of her boss. Obviously, this causes strain in all of her personal relationships. The biggest rift lies between her and her boyfriend Nate, played by Entourage's Adrian Grenier. Simon Baker plays Christian Thompson, a writer who attempts to steal Andy away from normalcy and her previous life. The new life being proposed to her seems glamorous and what every little girl dreams of, but at the core lies a cold, vicious demon that goes by the name of Jealousy.

Our carnal fashion obsessions are purged for 109 minutes as Andy is dressed in the designers that most women cannot afford. Not being able to afford these luxuries herself, Andy becomes somewhat of an addict, drowning in samples and freebies. Again, the similarities between Sex and the City and the Devil Wears Prada abound in the costumes, the main reason being that Patricia Field was the lead designer for both. Her fashion sense and quirky style have become a remarkable signature. Everything that Field touches turns to gold. Or maybe gold lamé.

The Devil Wears Prada will do well because every woman who has ever bought a fashion magazine will want to see it. And every man who dates a woman who buys fashion magazines will be forced to see it (and secretly like it).

Sunday, July 09, 2006

World Series of Pop Culture

One episode into this new game show on VH1 and I'm completely upset that I didn't get off my ass and go try out to be on this thing. I'm not trying to be cocky, but I pretty much knew every single answer to the questions feature on the show. I'm serious. Every single answer. I think the only drawback would have been that you have to be part of a 3 person team and each team member has to answer questions. I know some people who know this or that, but I never met anyone who knows as much as I know. My talents were probably better served on the IFC game show from last year where movie nuts strutted their stuff individually, although the prizes on that thing were incredibly lame. VH1 is putting up 250K for the winning team for the World Series, a sum that should have motivated me to track down some like minded individuals to dominate. Instead I will sit and watch this contest unfold and hate myself more and more for having zero motivation and a boat load of useless knowledge floating around my head.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Trash Talk 7/7/2006

We all know Matthew McConaughey is a little wierd. He lives in a trailer, doesn't wear deodorant and just broke up with one of the hottest spanish ladies ever. Looks like Matt took his newly single, stinky ass to Costa Rica over the holiday weekend and went on a no holds barred bender that resulted in embarrassing photos and a massive hangover. I only wish I had been right by his side, preferably not down wind, tossing back the tequila.

Poor Ashlee Simpson. No one wants to go see her and her big botox lips except a few tweens and their begrudging parents. She recently played to an audience of 700 in a theater that could pack 2500. Ouch. Ashlee is going to be the new spokesperson for the Pink line from Victoria's Secret. Doesn't look like she will be posing for them, well not until after she adds on to all that surgery and gets a boob job.

Since I'm obsessed with chainsaws, this news item caught my eye today. Apparently, early yesterday around 3 AM, a New York man was sliced and diced by a psycho with a powersaw at a NYC subway entrance. The victim suffered a punctured lung and some busted ribs, and claims that several city workers saw the whole thing happen but did nothing to help him. Best quote from the story: "There was blood everyplace".

Gore aside, pictures have surfaced of Paris Hilton walking around in public with a cat in her arms. Seems like her and Mischa Barton have both been photographed with an armful of pussy in the past few weeks. As a cat owner, I know how completely freaked out they get when taken outside, especially in public. I cannot wait for Paris or that OC bitch to get completely mauled by these pissed off kitties.

Kevin Federline claims that he purposely released a piece of shit (PapoZao) so that fans would be blown away when they hear his actual album. Um, Kevin, I'm blown away that someone is actually letting you make an album or that you got someone to produce your music. It's probably that wierdo hip hop producer Scott Storch that has been popping up everywhere, especially around Paris Hilton. Storch must be a genius with ProTools.


Thursday, July 06, 2006

Shuffle Your Shit

This is a fun game that can be included in your next keg, pool or slumber party. Write down the first 10 songs to appear on your Ipod in Shuffle Mode and explain why each one is on there. Remember, the lamer the song, the stronger you must make your defense or you will lose every ounce of street cred that you have worked your little tailbone off to acquire.

Joolie's Ipod:

Bad Reputation by Joan Jett from "Bad Reputation"
This song makes me completely lose control. If it happens to come on when I'm driving, a cigarette has to come out, the snarl slides across my face and I sing along while I give the middle finger to everyone who's ever talked smack on me. Whenever I hear Joan Jett I realize how much I wanted to be her when I was a little girl. I remember seeing her on MTV and just freaking out about her. When I heard about the Runaways, I freaked out even more.

180 By Summer Taking Back Sunday from "Where You Want to Be"
"Go on just say need me like a bad habit" are the opening lyrics to this tune. Taking Back Sunday consistently manages to have one amazing line in each of their songs. I can tolerate this band because I think the singer can actually belt it out pretty well in comparison to some other "emo" bands. Besides, most of the songs are about being fucked over by someone and who doesn't like to wallow in self-pity once in awhile?

Little Sister by QOTSA from "Lullabies to Paralyze"
The constant cowbell gets a little annoying in this song but that's the only thing about "Little Sister" that bothers me. Eric and I saw Queens of the Stone Age play with Nine Inch Nails a few months ago and they blew the minds of the goth idiots in the audience. Josh Homme is dreamy and a musical genius. His Desert Sessions albums always have amazing collaborations on them. He's the Mike Patton of stoner rock.

Mother Puncher by Mastodon from "Remission"
This and "March of the Fire Ants" are my favorite songs from this album. This song is like a fucking steamroller. You don't think it can get any better and then it branches off into a crazy guitar solo and you want to piss yourself. I worked at Relapse Records' retail store when this album came out and people were treating Mastodon like the second coming of Christ. Anyone who makes Slayer check themselves deserves some respect.

Shake It Off by Mariah Carey from "The Emancipation of Mimi"
Mariah Carey has golden vocal chords and I'm not ashamed to say that I think she is one of the greatest female music artists of all time. Everyone is saying that many of these songs are about Tommy Mottola and the controlling marriage that they had. Best part of this song is when Mariah sings, " Just like the Calgon commercial, I really gotta get up outta here, and go somewhere." A Calgon commercial? WTF?

Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick from "Alot Like Love Soundtrack"
I first thought that this was Avril Lavigne when I heard it, but it's some girl with the most forgettable name in the music industry. I melt whenever I hear an acoustic guitar, so it won me over right away. I'm pretty sure that every high school aged girl absolutely loves this song and somehow I got swindled, too.

Golden Vile Into the Moat from "Means By Which the End is Justified"
If I was sitting somewhere with Scooter, he would make a horrible face and tell me to "turn that crap off". Into the Moat are from the state of Florida and are participants in what seems to be a resurgence of death metal that blends "bro-core" hardcore with death metal. I still can't get into breakdowns in my metal so this isn't an album I would be able to listen to the whole way through.

Tonight Ain't Gonna Be Good Lucero from "That Much Further West"
Lucero is one of my "Top Five" so of course whenever a Lucero song comes up I beam from ear to ear. Compared to Uncle Tupelo and The Replacements, Lucero blends country and rock and the recipe is just right. Their live shows are filled with whiskey, fist fights and sometimes a few tears. This is a band that will bring frat boys and ratty BMX kids together, and goddamn it's beautiful.

October, First Account Be Your Own Pet from "Self-Titled"
Are there still riot girls around? This band fits right in with Bikini Kill, Excuse 17 and any other band that ever was on Kill Rock Stars. Jemina Pearl's vocals are exactly like Kathleen Hanna's. If i were Kathleen, I'd have a hit out on this bitch. It's one thing to keep it in the same vein, it's another to completely rip off one of the best girl rock bands of all time. But since Bikini Kill hasn't made anything in awhile, I'll listen to this until it pisses me off too much. They need to go on tour with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs and rake in the dough of the poor souls who didn't get to enjoy the "Riot Grrl" movement.

No Rain (Cover) Jane's Addiction from...I'm not really sure.
One of my first rock star crushes was on Perry Farell. I saw him on TV when the "Been Caught Stealing" video came out and he sweeped me off my feet. Janes Addiction will be what plays on classic rock stations when my children are in their teens. This stuff just gets better with age. This cover of No Rain is stripped down and recorded live. Perry's vocals aren't the greatest but it is a tender tribute to Shannon Hoon and his too early demise.

Scooter's Ipod:

Killer's Creek by Mason Jennings from Century Spring
Oddly enough Centurty Spring is my least favorite Mason Jennings album, I'm more fond of Use Your Voice or even the latest release Boneclouds. However, Killer's Creek is probably one of my favorite tracks on this record and I think it's about getting cheated on, a subject I can relate to.

Everything (Between Us) by Liz Phair from Somebody's Miracle
Liz Phair is the first indie rock chick I ever had a serious crush on. As a result, I've purchased everything she has put out since Exile In Guyville. Sadly, not all of it is good. And this song shows that even with fancy production and a new, younger image, a good song is a good song. And this one ain't.

My Finest Hour by The Sundays from Reading, Writing and Arithmetic
Flat out amazing record. The sugary vocals of Harriet Wheeler can make any melody more lush and beautiful, and My Finest Hour is one of the better tunes on this record.

Friends to Go by Paul McCartney from Chaos and Creation
Yep. Paul McCartney. I will admit that since the break up of Wings I've consider this guy a bit of joke, always putting out adult contemporary bullshit, dueting with Michael Jackson. But, and this is a big but, I think this last record of his was a very solid return to his roots. Or maybe I'm finally an adult and now get drawn into adult contemporary bullshit?

Breakdown by Jack Johnson from In Between Dreams
Just heard this track poolside and the initial thoughts that came into my mind were a) Jack Johnson songs are perfect for swimming to and b) I can't believe I avoided liking this guy for years and years much to the chagrin of everyone around me that apparently knew better.

Ready by Cat Stevens from Greatest Hits
This song blows. Cat Stevens had some killer songs in his hey day, but this wasn't one of them. I'm sorry that this track came up on my shuffle.

After the Dance by Marvin Gaye from Greatest Hits
Marvin Gaye makes me want to fuck. You know the same is true for you. Why deny it?

Laser Show by Fountains of Wayne from Utopia Parkway
Fountains of Wayne are one of my guilty pleasures. I've admired their songs quietly for years and Utopia Parkway has some gems on it. Laser Show makes me think of college when everyone would get stoned and someone would bring up going to the Franklin Insitute to see Laser Chili Peppers or Laser Floyd.

Creature Comfort by The Dropzines from Between Sheets and Walls
This is my old band. I listen to them not because I was in it, but because before I was in the band, I was a huge fan of the lead singer/songwriters abilities in his past bands and wedged myself into working with him for 6 years. This record came out after I left the band and is a strong effort.

Pass the Mic by Beastie Boys from Check Your Head
B-Boys. Gotta have them on the Ipod. It's like a crime or something if you don't.

Emmy Nominations

Whoa, the Emmys went nuts this year nominating a ton of stuff no longer on the air and neglecting to nominate the folks that should easily win in almost every category. The only silver lining is that those hags called Desperate Housewives didn't get the nod. Not a one.

Lead Actress in a Comedy Series race exemplifies how out of touch the Emmys are this year. Four of the five nominees came from shows no longer on the air, and perhaps even more tragic from shows no one even watched when they were on the air. Stockard Channing of the canceled Out of Practice; Lisa Kudrow of the canceled The Comeback; Jane Kaczmarek of the retired Malcolm in the Middle; and Debra Messing of the retired Will & Grace. The only nominee from a show still (possibly) on the air was Julia Louis-Dreyfus, for The New Adventures of Old Christine. Okay, so you mean to tell me this is the best of the best out there ladies? I don't watch many sitcoms, but I think Leah Remini from King Of Queens is a solid choice. And that show is still on the air at least.

At least Kevin James from King Of Queens finally gets his due now that Ray Romano is out of the way. KJ along with Steve Carell from the Office are both first time nominees going up against the powerhouse that is Tony Shaloub from Monk. Monk? I'm scared knowing this show is still on the air. Well, it's on USA, so on the air might be a very liberal way of putting it. Charlie Sheen and Larry David from Two and a Half Men and Curb Your Enthusiasm respectively, round out again a pretty piss poor field. Larry David is great, but Curb sucked last season. I guess I'm sore that none of the guys from Entourage got a bite, nor did the very fine redneck stylings of Jason Lee on My Name is Earl.

In the Lead Actress in a Drama Series category again we see some dead women walking. Allison Janney (West Wing), Frances Conroy (Six Feet Under) and Geena Davis (Commander in Chief) get nominations for shows that bite the dust. Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU) and Kyra Sedgwick (The Closer) are the only two women on shows still breathing life. Again, I'm disappointed that Ellen Pompeo from Grey's Anatomy or Evangeline Lily from Lost weren't on this list.

James Spader went from in the house to the dog house, he won last year for Lead Actor in a Drama Series and is not nominated this year. Martin Sheen and Peter Krause are the representatives from shows that are gone, leaving heavyweight Kiefer Sutherland to duke it out with Denis Leary (Rescue Me) and Christopher Meloni (Law & Order: SVU) both guys I'm happy to see nominated. Where's Matthew Fox from Lost? Patrick Dempsey from Grey's Anatomy? Where do these picks come from?

But the news ain't all bad. Some nominations make me kind of giddy. Like Gob from Arrested Development and Jamie Pressley from My Name is Earl. And two underrated supporting characters from HBO fare, Cheryl Hines as Larry David's thankless wife and Jeremy Piven as the uberagent Ari on Entourage at least restore my faith a little bit in the system.

Read more about the nominations here.


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Rock Star Supernova-New Weekly Feature


It's that time again, Dave Navarro will dust off his feather boa and Brooke Burke will barely fit into her shiny dresses and we will get to see American Idol will balls. Last year this show took over my life and I got sucked into the Marty Casey vs. J.D Fortune showdown for who will be the new lead singer of INXS. This year we get to see who gets to front a made up band featuring Tommy Lee, Gilby Clarke and Jason Newsted calling themselves Supernova.

The first episode was no filler and all performances, and since it's only the first performance by our aspiring 15 rock stars, the "judges" took it kind of easy on all of them with the exception of that idiot who ruined Roxanne by the Police. I will not be so kind as what I had to sit through at home was in a word, horrid. First of all I want to know why they bother having women even enter this contest? Last year the women took a back seat early and eventually piddled down to only one chick in the top 5. From the looks of this year's batch of lovelies, my early prediction is that the strange African lady who freaked me out with her version of Lithium even remotely has a shot. The rest, forget it. Singing Janis Joplin or Melissa Etheridge is not going to get Tommy Lee juiced up even a little bit. I will say that most of the girls are borderline gorgeous, but the reality is that they just aren't that strong vocally doing rock material. Could Jewel front a rock band? I think not.

The only good news for the ladies is that the guys were a mixture of bad, boring and lost. Butchering classics left and right, they all had fresh hairdos to sport but didn't bring the heat or the chops. Mr. Number One singer in Iceland looked downright bored to be doing a Rolling Stones song and that made me even more bored watching his bald ass.

Usually with reality based TV I tend to make early predictions on the contestants fate, but after tonight I'm at a loss. If you have to have a winner, I suppose the early money is on the scary guy who did Billy Idol to close the show, the skinny Jason Mraz like dude who belted She Talks to Angels and maybe the freaky African girl that did kind of hook me until the unnecessary screaming and wobbling around at the end of her Nirvana cover.

Keep it here for unnecessary commentary each week as I continue to brave this spectacle. I suffer for all of you.


Saturday, July 01, 2006


Grant Lee Philips, former lead singer of the band Grant Lee Buffalo, has just released nineteeneighties a collection of covers of popular alternative hits from what else, the 80's. Right now yours truly is rocking Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs reinvented by Mr. Philips on my Myspace profile because it's delicious. This troubadour has put his spin on a ton of songs that I loved when I was actually living in the 80's and I'm excited to download this album immediately. Check it out, Wave of Mutilation [originally performed by The Pixies], Age of Consent [New Order], The Eternal [Joy Division], I Often Dream of Trains [Robyn Hitchcock], Under the Milky Way [The Church], So. Central Rain (Sorry) [REM], Boys Don't Cry [The Cure] and Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me [The Smiths], plus a couple of others.